Sunday, December 09, 2007

ER & Political Product Placement

Sometimes there's something beneficial to watching several episodes of a series back to back. It's way easier to spot trends when the chapters aren't separated by a full week of the mundanities of life.

Take my recent experience with ER, for example.

It's not a big thing - and quite possibly something I wouldn't have noticed had I not been cleaning out the TiVo.

But...in back to back episodes characters from ER mentioned Democratic presidential candidates in passing and in a positive light. Both Obama and Hillary got what might have passed for product placement had they been Gateway computers or hybrid cars. They weren't ringing endorsements a la "I'm voting for Obama!" but they were positive mentions nonetheless.

One wonders - once the writers' strike is over, will there be enough election process remaining for John Edwards or any of the Republican candidates to receive anything approaching equal time?

Thursday, December 06, 2007

A Daisy By Any Other Name

We've become big fans of PUSHING DAISIES. It's quirky, surreal, colorful (absolutely gorgeous in HD!) and unique.

We're also big fans of Chi McBride around here. Loved him in BOSTON PUBLIC, but he looks like he's having a grand time here. I had lunch with Mr. McBride sometime during the first season of BOSTON PUBLIC. He was determined to learn everything he could about the giant TV machine.

As he put it, "I stand where they tell me and say what they tell me. What do you do?"

I had the honor of explaining the role of local TV promotion to the star of what was then FOX's most critically acclaimed drama.

Kinda cool. But I digress.

What brings me here today is the first hint that baboons may be taking over PUSHING DAISIES. (See TV Shows Written by Baboons)

Part of the charm of DAISIES is its timelessness. It doesn't seem to take place in any certain city or state. It has a retro modern flavor that includes rotary phones and hybrid cars. It's decidedly not set in our universe. It's apolitical. It is its own entity.

That's why three lines of dialog in "Smell of Success" (airdate 11/27/07) stuck out to me. There was a reference for Ronald Reagan. One character expressed fear of the C.H.U.D. And another warned "don't make me cut you, bitch."

Each of these instances popped me out of my comfortably quirky DAISIES universe. I assumed a baboon must be responsible. Research shows the episode was written by Scott Nimerfro, his first effort for the series. A-ha! An unwashed member of the common public who doesn't understand the culture of the show!

Not exactly. Turns out Scott is a Co-producer for DAISIES.

Geez, if the staff can't get it right, what chance do the rest of us have?

Still love the show. Hope Scott gets it right next time.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

ER Goes Green, Badly

Wow.

Just watched the 'green' episode of ER - the one that aired in NBC/Universal's ridiculous GREEN WEEK.

What a pitiful, forced, badly written attempt at subliminal propaganda.

From a tie-dyed hippie sing-a-long (I swear the guy was actually wearing a tie-dyed T-shirt) to not-so-subtle lines discussing the inconvenience of truth, to the product placement storyline featuring one of the doctor's new itty-bitty car, this episode stunk.

Part of the reason the Writers' Guild is out on strike right now is because they're being forced to write commercials like this into their story lines 1) without a share of the money earned by such commercial placement, and 2) without regard to how crippling said placement may be to a storyline.

And while this may not have been product placement in its purest sense, there's no doubt the massages were forced into the hour. No characters came out and said "Mmm McDonald's - I'm lovin' it." But I suppose it's hard to work "I'm Al Gore and I used to be the next president of the United States." into many plots.

This episode of ER was shameful. This show used to be a strong, forceful energetic being. Now the show is like an exotic dancer who's past her prime. Just going through the motions for the tips.

If I were the writer who created Abby Lockhart, I'd consider suing for literal defamation of character.

Elsewhere in GREEN WEEK, Al Gore's appearance on 30 ROCK was a great self-parody, akin to the treatment he gets over on SOUTH PARK. At least the guy who used to be the next president of the united States has a sense of humor about himself.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Shiny Metal Inspiration

Over the last one year and a bit, I haven't posted a great deal of video, but it looks like I'm about to go 2 for 2. Yep it's two embedded video posts in a row - and I'm proud of it.

Can you name the animated FOX program that this song is NOT the theme for?



(Cue the 30th Century Fox logo for a hint.)


The story is a certain studio couldn't afford the clearance rights, so they hired someone to get as close to the original as they could... It feels a bit like the original MISSION IMPOSSIBLE theme versus the hip hopped edition for the movies.

Kinda cool.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Family Guy vs. Picard

This week, FAMILY GUY celebrated their 100th episode by allowing Stewie to finally kill off his mom, Lois.

Or did he?

Here's a spoilerish clip of the end of the episode:




It's ultimately a spin on the best season-ending cliffhanger in the hisotry of television:



Now that was some good watchin'.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

It's Over for Three

And the first three fatalities of the new TV season are:

ONLINE NATION - The CW - a review of the hottest stuff you can find online - which you can find online - without having to sit through annoying hosts and commercials....

NASHVILLE - FOX - A bad attempt at a reality documentary that wasn't very real. MTV would have canceled this one - and they'll air anything.

VIVA LAUGHLIN! - CBS - COP ROCK goes to Vegas - with worse results.

Someone cue the logo lady - "It's Over" for them.

Who's next?

Saturday, October 20, 2007

PVR Ratings - My List

This year TV pundits are very excited about a new set of ratings Nielsen is publishing. These numbers take into account delayed viewing on PVRs.

If a Nielsen family watches HEROES live, that's always been counted. Now, if they watch HEROES on their TiVo on a slow Friday night, it gets counted in the show's total ratings for the week.

Seems folks were expecting more than they should have. The top 10 shows didn't get much of a bounce, or change their order much. The big boys' audiences grew about 10% versus the overnight ratings.

Which really isn't that spectacular given that PVR penetration is at 20% now.

Other folks are looking at TiVo's top 20 with some surprise. Why is TiVo's Top 20 so different from Nielsen's - easy. TiVo's Top 20 is made up of a lot of second choices.

If you're stuck between watching HEROES or K-VILLE, odds are K-VILLE's the one getting recorded.

Which leads me to ask - what is your TV watching schedule?

Here's mine:

MONDAY
PRISON BREAK
HEROES
JOURNEYMAN (haven't canceled the season pass yet, but we may be close)
K-VILLE (season pass canceled)

TUESDAY
BONES
HOUSE

WEDNESDAY
BACK TO YOU
'TIL DEATH
KITCHEN NIGHTMARES
PUSHING DAISIES
BIONIC WOMAN (season pass canceled)

THURSDAY
SUPERNATURAL
SMALLVILLE
ER
MAD MEN (can't wait for season 2 in June!)

FRIDAY
TiVo catch up night

SATURDAY
TiVo catch up night

SUNDAY
THE SIMPSONS
FAMILY GUY
AMERICAN DAD

As much as is on this list, there's less on it than last year, and there will probably be less on it next year. Awaiting the returns of 24 and LOST, and looking forward to checking out TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES in January.

What's on your list?

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

K-VILLE KO'd

It looks like FOX is setting K-VILLE up for the big K.O.

There's a pattern of behavior with the network when it comes to marginal shows the suits think need a boost.

Invariably, they air the episodes out of order. It can be jarring sometimes - like when they started THE WEDDING BELLS with episode #2, then aired episode #1 the following week. Yes, episode #2 may have been more compelling, but TV audiences are easily confused when characters they see grow in one week regress inexplicably the next.

The same thing happened to SLIDERS and JOHN DOE. John walked into a bar one week and new everyone on the staff. The next week, he walked into the bar for the very first time.

It's so extremely frustrating. Why can't they just let the show grow in real time?

Which brings us to K-VILLE. The episodes numbers to date: 101, 103 and 105. Next week, episode 104.

If the suits can't bother to run the show as produced, why should I bother watching it?

First Katrina, now FOX. New Orleans and yet another Tim Minear production get soaked.

Cancel my season pass.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Back to You - Ouch!

No, the pain is not from having sat through another craptacular sitcom. No, this pain is from seeing a sitcom set at a TV station - featuring folks who had a former relationship as the central characters.

BACK TO YOU makes JOINED IN PROGRESS seem rather derivative.

But hey - this is TV - where suits have no original ideas - so maybe I've got a chance now!

BACK TO YOU (Wednesdays at 8/7 c on FOX) stars Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton - and the pilot was damn fine.

JOINED IN PROGRESS hasn't been cast, seen or read by anyone who can help bring it to life.

But I recommend you check them both out.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Belated Props to Flushed Away

The folks at Aardman (responsible for the wonderful WALLACE & GROMIT series of claymation films) teamed up with the CGI folks from Dreamworks for FLUSHED AWAY.

Not having young children in the house, I thought I had no reason to see this kiddie flick when it was first released.

I humbly admit the error.

This brilliant bit of diversion is such a treat. The plot may be simple, but the detail upon detail thrown in by the animators makes for a wonderful 90 minute ride.

It made me long for a CGI version of DANGERMOUSE - a project I had no idea I wanted to see until tonight.

Click on over to Netflix and get this one in your queue

Monday, September 17, 2007

Emmys '07

I didn't get to see as much of the Emmy telecast as I wanted - and maybe that's a good thing. The list of winners is stupefying.

The good:

Theatre in the round. A cool concept that heightened the Hi-Def picture. The producers of AMERICAN IDOL were in charge and it showed.

Yay for THE SOPRANOS, Terry O'Quinn from LOST, and the Stewart/Colbert/Carroll acceptance bit.

Boo to just about everything else. Spader wins Best Actor in a drama over Hugh Laurie? I don't think so.

Meanwhile, FOX had to deal with a few loose lips. Seems Ray Romano and Sally Field forgot the show wasn't being aired on HBO. (And no, Sally was NOT censored for her political diatribe, it was her choice of vocabulary FOX didn't like. They really, really didn't like it.)

Kudos to FOX for having the forethought to actually putting the program on a delay so they could cut away from any profanity. Like it or not, this is broadcast TV. It has a responsibility to the free over the air viewers.

'Bout time.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Burning Off the Summer, Part 1

My schedule's been a bit cramped of late, but Mrs. Kimosabe & I worked hard this weekend cleaning out the TiVo of some of the summer stuff we couldn't quite get to over the last few weeks. The fall premieres are a comin' and that means there's lots of TV watching to squeeze into two weeks' time.

I'm three episodes into MAD MEN and have every intention of finishing the run. Kudos to AMC for enhancing the environment for this advertising based drama with trivia bumpers that run in between all of their commercials.

Orkin started advertising on TV in 1954... followed by an Orkin spot.

The number one night for movie advertising is Thursday... followed by a spot for a movie.

The Paramount logo is the oldest movie studio logo still in use... followed by a spot for Paramount film.

Smart stuff - and a very clever way to fight back against TiVo hopping.

Also - a big shout out to SUPERNATURAL. Got all caught up on the Winchester brothers' adventures tonight. The show has an X-FILES feel - and it should, Kim Manners was deeply involved in both. It's a tight show, too. The main story always seems to be wrapped up in 45 minutes, followed by a little bit more of the ongoing mythology. Nice.

SUPERNATURAL started the season head to head against THE O.C. - and choices had to be made. Come October 4th, Sam & Dean will get their season pass back.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Time for Some TV

Summer's over and another fall TV season is about to begin.

I've been away for too long, prepping for a premiere of my own.

Now that the show is open, it's time to clean out the TiVo of some good cable programming - MAD MEN, SAVING GRACE, DAMAGES and umpteen reruns of SUPERNATURAL (that we couldn't squeeze into the schedule during their first runs).

Coming soon - my recommendations for the fall.

Stay tuned.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

HSM2 Gets an A+

Disney Channel premiered HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2 Friday night to record numbers.

Seriously. Almost 18 million viewers.

The largest Friday night audience on television in the last five years.

An audience on par with the season average of CSI - on The Disney Freakin' Channel.

HSM1 debuted to 7.8 million viewers.

Could this be a phenomenon on par with Harry Potter?

Wonder if HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE EDITION is in the cards?

Count on Disney milking this one 'til it's dry.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

9-11 Showdown

On September 11th, 2007 you can all do your part to help enrich the culture of the United States of America, and perhaps the world.

On that day, rap artists 50 Cent and Kanye West are both releasing new CDs.

50 Cent says he'll retire if Kanye outsells him.

For the love of God - I implore everyone within the sound of my voice - BUY KANYE'S ALBUM!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Random Thoughts 080707

Good lord, it's almost been a month since my last post!

It's been a bit busy, you see.

Gretel's home from college, there's the new job, a new car and a new play. Not enough spare time to mow the yard, let alone post to a blog no one reads.

Know this: I'm lovin' another season of HELL'S KITCHEN. Gretel & I are eating up SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE - the level of the competition is miles above the previous seasons, And there's too much good stuff on cable to keep up.

The TiVo's filling up with MAD MEN, CLOSER, DAMAGES and SAVING GRACE - and reruns of SUPERNATURAL, which got lost last fall when it was head to head with THE O.C., but is worthy of consideration for a Season Pass this fall.

Speaking of this fall, BONES is on the move to Tuesdays, where it will now team up with HOUSE for a fun night of FOX style yumminess. NEW AMSTERDAM has been pushed back to January - all on the strength of this summer's DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS which will be getting a fall timeslot on Thursday nights (allowing me to watch SUPERNATURAL - see how it all comes together?)

CBS' ANGEL knockoff IMMORTAL is now on its third show runner, after major recasting by the second showrunner. Not a good sign. No Season Pass for you!

If you think politics is crazy where you live, you can't imagine the insanity of living in or near Iowa as the straw poll awaits. Political commercials out the ying yang. which makes advertising rates for non-profits who really need air time rather pricey.

Haven't made it to see that French rat movie, or the Simpsons flick, or pretty much anything since PIRATES came out. Seems that's about when the new job, the returning daughter and the new play all collided.

Check out the moderately redesigned SCCT website - (meaning slightly larger fonts, since I finally had to get reading glasses).

Later.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Random Thoughts 070907

It's been a while since I've posted anything - been a bit busy with the new real-life gig and a loooong drive south for the 4th.

My last post blasted the marketing department for giving away the ending of EVAN ALMIGHTY. It turns out, maybe they did us all a favor.

Ken Levine, writer of M*A*SH, CHEERS and lotsa other TV, reports that EVAN was assembled from two completely separate scripts - each written by a two person team. Those scripts were mashed together by a fifth writer, selected by the film's director. This movie never had a chance.

When one of the teams challenged their lack of a screenplay credit, they also lost their story credit.

I sincerely apologize to the marketing team that chased me away from the steaming pile of celluloid.

Thank you.

Meanwhile two interesting happenings struck me this weekend.

One is a bit political, so it's here.

The other may ultimately be much more important in the scheme of broadcasting. Peter Liguori has been bumped up at FOX. His replacement is Kevin Reilly, formerly of NBC. More formerly of FX.

The two guys who built FX into an attention getting cable channel are now picking the shows at FOX.

NBC fired Reilly one week after the fall schedule was announced. They've really got their stuff together over there, huh?

Meanwhile, THE PRICE IS RIGHT is searching for a new host. There was a brief flirtation with the idea of Rosie O'Donnell getting the gig, but I must point out that Bob Barker was quoted as saying he didn't have a problem with a lady getting the job.

That automatically ruled out Rosie. She may be many things, but a lady, she's not.

Now there's buzz that ESPN's Dan Patrick may be getting the job. He announced his August resignation today on his radio show.

Before it goes any further, I have a suggestion. I know a fellow who's making his career as the host of a popular music show and L.A. DJ. He's modeling his career on that of his own idol, Dick Clark (who hosted THE $20,000 PYRAMID for decades), the little old ladies love him.

Ryan Seacrest.

Those big girls from Fiji would crush him.

What say you?

Don't forget to head over the Jelly Beanz for more on LIVE EARTH.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Evan Almighty Spolied For All

I don't get it.

I just don't get it.

Have you seen the latest spots for EVAN ALMIGHTY? The latest can be seen at the film's official site.

The early marketing for what may be a cute, clever followup to BRUCE ALMIGHTY featured STEVE CARRELL (voice of Hammy in OVER THE HEDGE and star of THE FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN) as a reluctant modern day Noah. In these spots, his character was obviously struggling with the validity of his mission, changes in his appearance, and the arrival of lots and lots of pairs of animals who were eager to help build his ark.

These spots highlighted Evan's reluctance to accept his mission, his wife's embarrassment at the situation and the animals. Cute, funny stuff punctuated with Evan's line: "Is it too much to ask for a LITTLE PRECIPITATION?"

We're left to wonder whether or not the rain will ever come, whether Evan's faith will be rewarded.

Well, worry no more.

New spots for the film have started to air that features shots of the ark white water rafting through city streets, sloshing in between skyscrapers while the generic cityscape is drowned in untold depths of water.

I no longer need to see this film. I know how it ends.

It floods.

I swear to all things promotional - I would wager my house that some airhead in a focus group expressed dimwitted concern about Evan's quandary. And I would wager YOUR house that some dimwitted suit at - wait for it - NBC/UNIVERSAL figured they'd better allay those fears by giving away the ending while highlighting those expensive special effects they paid for and were hiding from the public.

When I started writing this I had no idea what studio was distributing this film. And now that I do... I get it.

Why do SO many things that suck come from the desk of Mr. Zucker?

Would it be too much to ask for a LITTLE INTELLIGENCE????

Fire Zucker, save the studio.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Tony v. Tonys - Tony Wins

The results are in in the Tony vs. Tonys showdown.

Broadway's best averaged a tepid 6.2 million viewers from the 110 million households that receive CBS.

THE SOPRANOS drew 11.9 million viewers from among the 30 million households in the HBO universe.

If one were to extrapolate the HBO universe out to national levels, THE SOPRANOS audience would have been equivalent to about 43.6 million viewers.

It wasn't even close.

Even at 11.9 million, THE SOPRANOS scored higher ratings than every other show on American TV this week except for AMERICA'S GOT TALENT.

Oh, and do you hear anyone talking about the way the Tonys ended? David Hyde-Pierce could have paraded on stage naked and no one would be talking about anything other than "Cut to black, roll credits."

Sunday, June 10, 2007

America Doesn't Get It

SPOILER WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FINALE FOR THE SOPRANOS - STOP READING NOW.

COME BACK AFTERWARDS, AND WE'LL TALK.






I MEAN IT.



The headline I wanted to use:

America Doesn't Get It - Tony Does.

Americans get the TV they deserve. It's the beauty of the system. TV shows that draw big audiences stick around. Shows that don't, go away. Unfortunately, that allows the lowest common denominator to have a pretty big say in what we have beamed into our homes.

It's the reason CBS programs the way they do. Throughout the TV era simple shows like MURDER, SHE WROTE, THE BRADY BUNCH, JAG, THE GHOST WHISPERER and CSI have drawn large audiences who want simple distraction.

That's not necessarily a bad thing - but it's aggravating when quality shows that do challenge the audience, like PROFIT, FIREFLY, or (insert the name of your favorite short-lived show here) get scrapped only to be replaced by yet another clone of THE BACHELOR.

Tonight, we may be seeing a huge steaming pile of why American TV is as bland as it is.

The finale of THE SOPRANOS has generated an enormous amount of web traffic this evening. HBO's servers are melting due to the number of complaint postings and emails about how tonight's episode simply cut off and went to black.

You see, Tony and his family (the biological family, not the other one) were meeting at a diner for a meal. It looked like Tony had come out on top in a war with a rival family, and things might be getting back to normal.

Tony was first to arrive - and every time the front door of the diner rang, we looked up from the menu with Tony to see who was coming in.

Carmella walked in, followed by a seedy looking character in a truckers cap who might be trouble. Tony chatted with his wife - and the bell sounded again.

A.J. followed by another seedy fellow into the diner. The other fellow sat at the bar, and A.J. joined the family.

Meadow had trouble parallel parking. While we nervously watched every person in the diner for signs of suspicion. The tension built. And built. And built.

The fellow at the bar, got up and went to the men's room. Meadow finally got the car parked, and crossed the street to join her family. The bell rang. Tony looked up - and dead silence over black.

And fanboys all across America screamed "WHAT?!!!!"

They're complaining about an ending they don't understand, about details left unfinished, storylines that didn't end.

What they're not getting - including this guy from the AP - or these guys either - is that Tony got whacked.

Tony said it himself in the first episode of the season. You never see the one that gets you.

Series creator (and this episode's write/director) had confidence in his audience's ability to fill in the blanks.

They didn't get it. And they're screaming bloody murder about it.

And that's why network TV sucks.

When Ferrets Attack

Sheer brilliance.

Tony v. Tonys

Way back in the day, when the world was still broadcast in living black and white, Broadway supplied television with some of the most popular programming available.

Huge numbers were racked up by live televised versions of things like Rogers & Hammerstein's Cinderella, or specials featuring the best of the Great White Way.

Tonight, CBS airs the 61st Annual Tony Awards. Last year, all of 7.8 million people tuned in. The big winner was "Jersey Boys."

Also tonight, the curtain falls on one TV's most impactful made-for-premium cable shows - THE SOPRANOS. 7.7 million tuned in for the season premiere last month.

It's Tony Soprano vs. the Tony Awards.

Which telecast will feature the most drama? Which will draw the larger audience? Which will we remember this time next year?

I think I know the answers. Jersey Boys all the way. As for that awards show?

Fuhgetaboutit.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

9-0-2 Much Time on Their Hands 1-0

Some day I am going to come up with something incredibly creative that I will videotape and share with the world via the Internet.

Until then, you'll just have to make do with this:

90210 theme played on one guitar - by two guys at once

Sunday, May 27, 2007

M*A*S*H Ad Infinitum

Someone with way too much time on their hands has documented the many variations of the opening credits for M*A*S*H.

Some seasons have as many as four different versions.

Check it out.

http://tushball.com/MASH.html

Charles Nelson Reilly, Rest in BLANK

Charles Nelson Reilly has passed away at the age of 76.

I trust he, Nipsey Russell and Gene Rayburn are having a grand old time upstairs, filling in the blanks, waiting for the arrival of a few more panelists, so they can get back to playing MATCH GAME.

You can find reruns on GSN at 9am/8am Central. Hopefully, we'll get a marathon tribute soon.

This clip features Charles, Nipsey &, of course, Gene in an episode of MATCH GAME PM - not necessarily at their best, but it's the best I could find.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

How Big Is IDOL?

There are TWO HOURS of original programming going up against IDOL tonight.

TWO. The finale of LOST.

NBC, CBS and even the CW are airing reruns all night long.

Duck and cover, baby. Duck and cover.

This. Is. American. Idol.

Tonight's the big night - the AMERICAN IDOL finale.

The IDOL producers have a gi-normous task ahead of the them if they hope to top last year's star-studded finale.

Some interesting things are going on in IDOL land.

Last week, HOUSE became the first show in IDOL history to build on IDOL's lead-in. Yep, Dr. House beat AMERICAN IDOL.

Last night, something far more curious occurred. FOX lost a night that included AMERICAN IDOL.

IDOL itself is off 15 percent versus last year. Plus, the finale of DANCING WITH THE STARS walloped the premiere of THE LOT. THE LOT lost 72 percent of the IDOL lead-in, then lost another 40 percent of the audience left at the half hour.

Not a good sign.

I did enjoy THE LOT though - especially the part when the contestants had to look under their seats to find out which log line they'd be pitching the next morning. Some good ideas for some fun films! Do check it out - before it gets shuffled off to the dollar theatre.

Back to IDOL.

My heart's pulling for Blake, but my head knows Jordin's going to be singing that generic ballad one more time tonight. I bet she cries at the end tonight, too.

BTW - did you notice Jordin DIDN'T cry when the clip was played back at the end of the show? Know why? IDOL uses footage of the previous night's rehearsal for the show recaps. It was very noticeable last night.

Enjoy.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

FOX '07-'08

OK, it's FOX's turn at the upfronts. This season FOX locked up the win in Adults 18-49 sooner months before the season wrapped. Next season, they've got a prime time Super Bowl in their pocket.

And while the opposition may refer to AMERICAN IDOL as "the Death Star" - keep in mind that the last few weeks of IDOL have actually been down versus last year. In fact, this past week HOUSE outperformed AMERICAN IDOL for the first time ever. If IDOL is the Death Star, what does that make Dr. House? He walks with a stick, but he's not green so no Yoda reference. He's tall, but not particularly hairy - sorry, I digress.

The lineup:

MON - PRISON BREAK and K-VILLE (an over the top 'escapist' show and a new drama about the police force in post-Katrina New Orleans)

TUE - NEW AMSTERDAM and HOUSE (a new drama about an immortal detective who's been working in NYC since it was Dutch and the medical drama that's bigger than the Death Star)

WED - BACK TO YOU, TIL DEATH and BONES (a new sitcom starring Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton about a life at a TV station, Heaton's former RAYMOND co-star Brad Garrett's growing sitcom about married life and a forensics mystery that's started to dominate its time slot as well)

THUR - ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER and KITCHEN NIGHTMARES - (a simple game show with a well executed premise and a new reality show from GORDON RAMSEY in which he will step in and try to save a failing restaurant over the course of one week)

FRI - THE SEARCH FOR THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND and NASHVILLE (an IDOL style competition featuring bands instead of singers and and faux-reality soap set in the music industry from the producers of LAGUNA BEACH)

SAT - COPS and AMERICA'S MOST WANTED - (two old standbys that are starting to show their age)

SUN - THE SIMPSONS, KING OF THE HILL, FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD (four animated comedies for grown ups that are facing more competition and a smaller audience year by year)

In January:

MON - K-VILLE and 24 (PRISON BREAK will return in March)

TUE - IDOL and HOUSE

WED - BACK TO YOU, TIL DEATH and IDOL

THUR - 5TH GRADER and CANTERBURY'S LAW (Julianna Margulies as a defense attorney)

FRI - BONES and NEW AMSTERDAM

SUN - KING, DAD, SIMPSONS, GUY and THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES (TV sequel to TERMINATOR 2)

CANTERBURY - yawn. I don't care if I ever see another lawyer show right now.

AMSTERDAM - an interesting concept, although it may suffer in comparison to CBS's MOONLIGHT.

K-VILLE - the concept doesn't do much for me, but I'll wait to see some trailers.

KITCHEN NIGHTMARES and NASHVILLE both strike me as shows better left to cable.

Moving BONES and AMSTERDAM to Fridays is a huge risk - and note that FOX planned to move BONES to Fridays this spring, but too many new shows failed.

I'm not entirely sold on the SARAH CONNOR show - but I'm very excited to see FOX bringing a drama back to Sunday night.

BACK TO YOU is being produced by FRASIER's Christopher Lloyd - this could be a giant new comedy that will put a stake in the heart of a project very dear to me (JOINED IN PROGRESS).

The CW remains....

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

CBS Stays the Course

It's CBS' turn at the upfronts.

CBS is currently the 'most watched' network, winning in total viewers and households. They're #2 in the coveted Adults 18-49, behind FOX. Will the '07-'08 season be the year they catch up? Probably not. Will this be the year they try a lineup packed with innovation and bold moves? Not even close.

MON - HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, THE BIG BANG THEORY, TWO AND A HALF MEN, RULES OF ENGAGEMENT, CSI: MIAMI - Only one new show on a night of decent success. BANG was originally called THE IT GROUP or THE IT CLUB, I can't remember - and all traces of the original title have been erased from the internet. It's about computer geeks (the I.T. guys) who are dating chicks out of their league.

TUE - NCIS, THE UNIT and CANE - CANE stars Jimmy Smits and is about a family Rum business.

WED - KID NATION, CRIMINAL MINDS and CSI: NY - A reality show that transplants LORD OF THE FLIES to the Old West, and two shows I don't watch.

THUR - SURVIVOR: CHINA, CSI and WITHOUT A TRACE - SURVIVOR's fading and TRACE returns to its original time slot.

FRI - GHOST WHISPERER, MOONLIGHT and NUMB3RS - Jennifer Love Hewitt's bosom helps spirits rest in peace, a vampire plays detective (but he's not Angel, so who cares?) and math.

SAT - CRIMETIME SATURDAY and 48 HOURS MYSTERY - reruns and a newsmag.

SUN - 60 MINUTES, VIVA LAUGHLIN, COLD CASE and SHARK - VIVA is based on a BBC miniseries and is a musical. I'm going to have to unleash the search engine in my TiVo to find VIVA BLACKPOOL on BBC America. Hugh Jackman is involved - could be genius, could be COP ROCK.

I don't think there's anything here for me. Not even JLH's bosom will make me sit through a predictable CBS drama.

Someday, I'll find time to watch HOW I MET YOUR STEPMOTHER, but we're not there yet.

CBS has no chance of catching FOX next year (FOX has the Super Bowl). But they'll still win in households - although I'm not sure why that matters - houses don't buy anything, people do.

More to come....

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

ABC's Turn

Upfront week continues....

While NBC seems to have decided the route to success means little innovation, ABC seems to be taking a different track.

MON - DANCING WTH THE STARS, SAM I AM, THE BACHELOR - That's a reality competition, a sitcom starring Christina Applegate as an amnesia victim who wasn't a very nice person before her condition, and an aging relationship/reality piece of poo. (Wonder what would happen if Sam I Am hooked up with My Name Is Earl....)

TUE - CAVEMEN, CARPOOLERS, DANCING RESULTS and BOSTON LEGAL - a sitcom based on a commercial (which is getting VERY bad buzz on Madison Avenue) a comedy about guys who share a ride to work, more DANCING and an solid lawyer show.

WED - PUSHING DAISIES, PRIVATE PRACTICE, DIRTY SEXY MONEY - An entire night of new shows! Wow! That's a drama about a fellow who solves crimes by temporarily bringing the victims back to life (GHOST WHISPERER meets CSI), a spinoff from GREY'S ANATOMY and
a soap about the lawyer of a rich and powerful family. LOST will return at a time period 'to be announced' on this night in January.

THUR - UGLY BETTY, GREY'S ANATOMY and BIG SHOTS - Two successes and a soap about powerful CEO's who are putty in their wife's hands. Surprised that PRIVATE PRACTICE didn't get this slot.

FRI - MEN IN TREES, WOMEN'S MURDER CLUB, 20/20 - That's a so-so chick drama, better suited to pairing up with GREY'S or HOUSEWIVES, a new show about four women who use their collective professional expertise to solve crime, and a newsmag.

SAT - COLLEGE FOOTBALL - 'nuff said.

SUN - AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS, EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, BROTHERS & SISTERS - No changes, a wise decision.

My take, SAM I AM will have a great led-in, but that 9:30/8:30c start time could be trouble.

CAVEMEN is a horrible idea - Geico is actually going to pull the great ad campaign for the two weeks this show will be on the air.

CARPOOLERS will struggle as a result of its lead-in.

DAISIES could be interesting - might be a tough TiVo choice is FOX keeps BONES in that slot.

The only other ABC show I come close to watching is FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS. Is it me or is ABC slowly becoming a chick drama network? Doesn't mean it's not working, though.

5 hours of non-scripted reality stuff - 22% (36% if you count football)

Repurposed programming - ZERO

Reruns - ZERO

(See, NBC? It can be done.)

More to come...

Monday, May 14, 2007

NBC - Now 55% Fresh!

It's upfront week in TV-dom, the week the networks announce their fall lineups.

And why do the networks roll out a fall lineup? Because back in the day, they had to roll out exciting new shows to serve as spot carriers for the new models rolling off the Detroit assembly lines. That's why.

So, let's take a look at NBC - the proud as a peacock 4th place network. The network that once publicly excoriated FOX for relying on reality programming. The network that recently announced plans to abandon scripted programming at 8/7 Central.

Disclaimer: I'll be using info from the announced January lineups, since Sunday nights will feature NFL games until then.

NBC programs seven nights, if you count Saturday - that's 22 hours of programming.

MON - DEAL OR NO DEAL, HEROES and JOURNEYMAN - an unscripted game show (that is repurposed on CNBC), a hit (that is repurposed on SCI-FI) and what amounts to a remake of QUANTUM LEAP. A man travels back and forth in time, changes people's lives and reconnects with his true love - not his wife.

TUE - THE BIGGEST LOSER, CHUCK and LAW & ORDER: SVU - a reality competition (that is repurposed on USA), a new show from the creators of THE O.C. about a geek who accidentally downloads a bunch og government secrets into his brain - Adam Baldwin (FIREFLY, THE X-FILES) co-stars so I might tune in, and L&O.

WED - DEAL OR NO DEAL, THE BIONIC WOMAN and LIFE - a second episode of an unscripted game show (that also airs on CNBC), a reimagining of a '70s sci-fi classic (that will also be repurposed on SCI-FI) and a crime drama featuring a detective who has just served some time for a crime he didn't commit (which will be repurposed on LIFETIME). yes, an entire night of programming you can watch on a different night on different channels - who needs a TiVo?

THUR - MY NAME IS EARL, 30 ROCK, THE OFFICE, SCRUBS and ER - the only comedies on NBC's schedule, and the final season of a once mighty giant on a once mighty night.

FRI - THE SINGING BEE, LAS VEGAS and FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS - a reality competition that requires contestants to sing lyrics perfectly or be eliminated (apparently the notes don't count), a marginally successful drama and a show about high school football on a night when anyone can go to their local high school and see high school football.

SAT - DATELINE NBC and VARIOUS REPEATS - a newsmagazine mired in the pursuit of online sexual predators to the degree that one wonders when they're going to hire Maury Povich to host (that is repourposed on MSNBC), and two hours of things that are already being repurposed on other channels on other nights. Why bother?

SUN - DATELINE NBC, LAW & ORDER, MEDIUM and LIPSTICK JUNGLE - see above, L&O, a show that might actually do well in this slot and Brooke Shields in an effort to recapture the SEX IN THE CITY lightning in a bottle.

Overall, 6 hours of non-scripted programming - 27%
2 hours of scheduled repeats 9%
10 hours of repurposed programming - 45%

Yep, almost HALF of the NBC schedule can be seen at other times - any wonder why their mired in 4th place?

I'm a HEROES fan. I'll check out THE BIONIC WOMAN, CHUCK and LIFE. But if I didn't have a TiVO - and more than 80% of Americans don't - I wouldn't give up 24, HOUSE or LOST for any of these new shows.

Tomorrow, more....

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Carnival Skittles!

No TV this time - something better!

Better than TV? Say it ain't so! (OK, it ain't so, but it's pretty darn good nonetheless)

Mmmmm...... Carnival Skittles..... skittley goodness......

Candy Apples, Cotton Candy, Green Slushie (is that a flavor?) Red Licorice and Bubble Gum! Wot, no funnel cake?

Bumped into it a Wal-Mart tonight. Yummy stuff.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

More Riches!

A brief followup to last night's Random Thoughts.

THE RICHES has just been renewed by FX.

Congrats to Eddie Izzard, everyone's favorite executive transvestite.

Random Thoughts 050807

There may be SPOILERS ahead. Proceed with caution if you're not completely caught on your good TV watchin'.

May sweeps is upon us, but for myself, not nearly like it used to be.

GILMORE GIRLS is calling it a wrap in two weeks. Hope they go off into the sunset properly. This season seemed like so much filler, delaying the happy ending fans want by an entire calendar year for no other purpose than to waste TiVo space.

I'm enjoying THE RICHES. It's such a unique setting and I believe I would watch Eddie Izzard in just about anything (except for MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND - cue Meatloaf "I can't do that!")

If I haven't mentioned it before, I recommend By Ken Levine - he wrote for M*A*S*H, CHEERS and FRASIER among others. He posts more regularly than I do - and he's a lot funnier. Every now and then he'll discuss some behind the scenes stuff from FRASIER or CHEERS - and sometimes he just vents about AMERICAN IDOL - just like 50% of all bloggers known to mankind.

I was stunned by what happened on tonight's 24. It sucked the life out of the last 15 minutes of the episode - literally. I was hoping to a lot more of Milo down the road.

I think maybe THE SIMPSONS is getting better lately. I caught Mrs. Kimosabe chuckling Sunday.

The producers of LOST have managed to convince Disney it's best to have a planned ending to the series, rather than go one season too long. Remember the final season of THE X-FILES? Not gonna happen to LOST. Three more semi-seasons, consisting of 16 episodes each. Expect LOST to return in Feb '08 and run without repeats through May.

Gotta admit - I got a bit excited seeing the SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE promo Sunday night. Made me miss Gretel a bit. Wave, Gretel!

Holy cow - I COMPLETELY forgot to go see SPIDER-MAN 3 this week. Apparently, I was responsible for the single unsold seat in America this weekend. $151 million. And it's still in the $100 million in red.

All I need is maybe $10,000 to shoot my movie. You know, if everyone who reads this blog contributed just $1, I'd only have to come up with $9,995 on my own....

Odds are, if you're reading this, you've read FIRST AVAILABLE - but just in case you're an agent looking to hire a brilliant new writer - but are willing to settle for me, here's a link to the script.

Gotta run - Hollywood calling now! Nope, just a telemarketer. Stupid caller ID. It never tells me when Hollywood calls...they are going to call - right?

Hello?

Hello?

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Milt Grant Signs Off

Old broadcasters never die, they just play the national anthem, then sign off.

TV broadcaster Milt Grant signed off for the last time Saturday in his home in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Milt had quite the career in TV. He was there at the beginning - in the 1950's Washington, D.C. he hosted THE MILT GRANT SHOW, a local version of Phildelphia's BANDSTAND.

If I remember the story correctly, Milt's show was so huge, when WTTG tried to raise his rates, not only did he take the show to the competition, he BOUGHT the competition - WDCA.

Eventually, Milt built a fairly substantial TV group, with stations in Miami, Chicago, and Philadelphia. But Milt made a fatal error, he paid way too much cash for his programming in a time when barter syndication deals became the norm.

(Barter syndication means the syndicating studio, say Paramount receives commercial time within the program to sell instead of cash payments. TV stations get less commercial time in these shows, but don't have to lay out any cash.)

I remember, reading Electronic Media in my college library, following the story of Grant Broadcasting impending bankruptcy. The group owed so much money to Paramount, they had to give the license to the Chicago TV station to the studio in lieu of payment. It was something like $93 million - in 1984 - when money was money. I had no idea, I'd eventually wind up working for the man.

Milt eventually lost his other stations as well, but in 1990, he was back for another round. He acquired WZDX-TV in Huntsville, Alabama from the bankrupt Media Central group, and began rebuilding his empire - on a smaller, but profitable, scale.

(Somehow, my career has taken down a path that intersected with not one but THREE former Media Central stations, WDBD, Jackson, MS, WXTX in Ciolumbus, GA and WZDX - but I think that's another column for another day.)

Other Grant stations can be found in Davenport, IA, La Crosse, WI and Roanoke, VA.

I worked for Milt. Milt was a pioneer. He was a determined man, who had it all, lost it all, and rebuilt it. He was a hard man to please and because of that we had more than our share of differences.

I don't think he ever got over the bankruptcy. The broadcasting industry was hit particularly hard in the post 9/11 economy. It must have been a very nervous time for him.

It seemed to me that he never quite adjusted to the 500 channel universe and dismissed the impact of basic cable and an ever diminishing audience for syndicated re-runs. His sense of design and on-air composition never quite evolved out of the early '80s. He tended to prefer what he must have seen as safe, proven marketing campaigns in a time that required innovation and a degree of risk taking.

Nonetheless, the man carved a path. A path that was wide and clear, and enabled hundreds of people to join him on the fantastic journey that is broadcast television.

He told great stories. He served in the OSS in North Africa. He was instrumental in the success of Link Wray and His Ray Men. Most of all, he never gave up.

Without a doubt, there will never be another one like him.

Monday, April 30, 2007

BONES - What To Do?

Sometimes the real world gets in the way of our TV watching fun.

FOX once had to re-edit the season finale of MELROSE PLACE because the explosion at the apartment complex came too close on the heels of the Oklahoma City bombing.

On the heels of 9/11, the series premiere of 24 had to be trimmed a bit to snip out a couple of shots of a crashing airliner.

And now, yet another tragedy has impacted yet another FOX show.

The episode of BONES originally scheduled for April 18th followed a murder investigation on a college campus. While the episode didn't deal with a mass shooting, it was rightly deemed inappropriate to air so soon following the recent events at Virginia Tech.

Unfortunately, it's looking like the episode may not air at all.

You see, there are elements of BONES that are part of a season long arc. I recently raked FOX over the coals for failing to air episodes in their correct order - and now it looks like they're expecting us to simply catch up, while having completely missed an episode that included some rather major plot developments for a couple of characters.

FOX's summary for this week's episode includes this passage: "Meanwhile, thwarted in his previous attempt to propose to Angela, Hodgins tries a more traditional, romantic approach to winning her heart."

With the cancellation of DRIVE, I think FOX could have aired the skipped episode of BONES this Monday night, instead of airing a HOUSE rerun, while giving folks a chance to keep up. Or they could at least make it available online.

Again, this episode doesn't contain any plot points similar to Virginia Tech, other than it takes place on a college campus and someone dies. No gunshots, no loner student, no chained doors.

I think we could handle it.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Happy Birthday Riley!


Riley's 21!

Happy Birthday, Riley Dude.

The pic is from a 1989 fundraiser at Wynne High School. Riley stormed the stage from the back of the auditorium when Holly & I came out to perform "Honey Bun" from "South Pacific". The moment was captured by the local newspaper.

Good times.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

DRIVE gets a "DNF"

As in Did Not Finish.

That's what they give the NASCAR boys who end up in the garage instead of crossing the finish line.

While I enjoyed the two hour premiere of DRIVE, its seams were showing. This looks like it has to be an expensive show to produce - and the producers are slicing expenses wherever they can.

Cars continually race down the same generic stretch of interstate highway. Office complexes double for Cape Canaveral (along with a preposterously bad CGI countdown clock on the side of a building). And I KNOW I've seen the motel the contestants were all departing from in more than one movie or TV show.

There's lots of CGI and green screen in this show - sort of a poor man's version of the incredible shooting techniques pioneered in CHILDREN OF MEN. Cameras swoop in, crossing through windshields while cars roar down the highway, then spin and fly out the side window. It could be impressive - if it were done a little better.

But, if I can overlook the cardboard walls of Kirk's Enterprise, I can overlook the budget limitations on a TV show's special effects.

The story has LOTS of potential. FIREFLY's Captain Tightpants - Nathan Fillion - is back - as Alex Tully, a very familiar role. Fillion can clench his jaw and smoulder like no other actor on TV.

ANGEL's Amy Acker plays Tully's missing wife, who is being held hostage so Tully will compete in a race that makes the Cannonball Run look like a party thrown by Dean martin (which it probably was!)

Melanie Lynskey plays a mom who seems to have had her newborn son taken from her. Hers may be the most intriguing characters so far. She's soft and quiet, and easily taken to be weak - but she's able to do what it takes to protect her child - something we learned very well, very quickly.

Lynskey was featured in an early promo for the show and her voice is so petite, I originally mistook her for Amy Acker. Mrs. Kimosabe and I were pretty puzzled as to how Acker had put on so many pounds - oops to us.

All in all, I'm in the for long haul on DRIVE. My season pass is programmed in and I'm hoping this race runs a long time.

But I have my doubts.

After announcing the show's premiere date, FOX quickly followed up with another announcement that they would be airing just 6 of the 13 episodes ordered before giving the show a break for the summer. That doesn't sound like a vote of confidence.

After seeing the Sunday night numbers, the suits may have been right on this one. DRIVE scored a 6 share.

I don't know what it is about folks from the House of Whedon, but it seems like everyone who learned how to make TV while studying at the feet of creator of BUFFY hits a glass ceiling in the 6 to 7 share range.

While a 6 share was considered a success for The Old WB, it's not enough for FOX. WONDERFALLS, FIREFLY, STANDOFF, TRU CALLING and now DRIVE - they're all quirky little shows created by folks who wrote for BUFFY or ANGEL - and none of them ever scored a double digit share of the audience.

Let's wait to see what Monday's numbers bring....

[Edit: Monday's numbers are in and - TA DA! - a 6 share. A rerun of HOUSE scored a 9 share last week. This does not bode well....)

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Yippee-Ki-Yay!

Thought this was interesting - it seems the recent trailer for DIE HARD 4 is the highest testing action trailer ever released by 20th Century Fox.

Maybe in DIE HARD 5, John McClane could team up with Jack Bauer....

"Yippee-Ki-Yay!"

"Copy that!"

Edit: Here's a link to the trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/livefreeordiehard/

Crime & PUNishment

After careful thought and consideration, I'm wondering if perhaps now might be the time for some California wineries to start selling gardening equipment to the public.

After all, who wouldn't want a "Napa Valley Hoe?"

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Random Thoughts: 041207

Some random TV thoughts....

It took 17 hours for Jack Bauer to shake off whatever it was the Chinese did to him. I was feeling a bit disappointed with this season of 24 - until Jack killed this season's bad guy with his bare hands. 24 has 'unjumped' the shark and The Jack Bauer Power Hour is back

Starting to get pumped up about DRIVE. Captain Tightpants (Nathan Fillion from FIREFLY) and ANGEL's Fred (Amy Acker) headline a pretty good looking cast in another Tim Minear project - that FOX will probably toss on the ash heap before its time. I hope not.

'TIL DEATH has had its season finale. It's still not a great show, but it's getting better. My guess is that it will be back next year.

Last Friday the History Channel aired PLANET OF THE APES. Huh? It worked. I watched the whole thing - plus the special about Giganticus/Sasquatch that followed.

There a marathon of Eddie Izzard's THE RICHES on FX this weekend. Check it out.

I'm going to wait one more episode to comment on THE SOPRANOS.

Next week - Sanjaya WILL be in the bottom three. But he won't go home until we're down to the Top 5.

I've started pulling for Blake.

It's been a long haul over the past month - no new episodes of GILMORE GIRLS, SMALLVILLE or HEROES. If it weren't for the new subscription to HBO - and all the movies I don't have time to watch - my TiVo would be very bored.

What's going on on your set? What are you watching? What are you NOT watching?

Friday, April 06, 2007

Easter Bonus: Sopranos Resurrected

Back in June, I posted a piece on the mid-season finale of THE SOPRANOS.

With the second half of the season about to premiere, I thought it might be fun to revisit it.

Sopranos Finale: Peace on Earth

Thursday, April 05, 2007

NYT Doesn't Get It

Over at Jelly Beenz, a New York Times reporter links AMERICAN IDOL and the 2000 election.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Sponge Bob No Pants

Burger King has done it again. they have managed to totally creep me out with another commercial that makes me wonder "What were they thinking?"

File this under the category Spots That Make You Go Hmmmmm.

This spot begins with a kid running up to Mom announcing that Spongebob is now appearing at Burger King! Can we go? Of course, as soon as your dad is finished.

As soon as Dad is finished with what? Why taking a bath. In an overly large master bathroom. While Mom is tidying. With the door open.

This family apparently shares a lot, because Dad isn't afraid to stand up in the tub to joke to his wife that he's Spongebob No Pants - all while the bathroom door is standing wide open.

At least the King isn't peeping in the large bathroom window.

Boundaries, people - PLEASE.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Bells Silenced, Heaven Closed

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised....

After a complete lack of faith in linear storytelling (see previous post) FOX has cancelled THE WEDDING BELLS.

With just 6 of the 13 episode order in the can, FOX has shut the show down.

Also today, ABC canned SIX DEGREES (one week after returning from hiatus), THE CW announced the end of 7TH HEAVEN and NBC is dropping THE BLACK DONNELLYS in favor of another piece of crap reality show.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Wedding Bells Toll

FOX has done it again.

While Rupert's network may be #1 in prime time, it has a long history of screwy scheduling that it just can't seem to shake.

For some ungodly reason no one has ever attempted to explain, FOX continually schedules episodes of serial shows out of order. They did it regularly to SLIDERS back in the day. They did it to JOHN DOE. They did it to FIREFLY. Recently, they've done it to THE WAR AT HOME.

ATTENTION NETWORK SUITS! You can't expect folks to follow a continuing storyline if you don't show the story IN ORDER!

The freshest example is THE WEDDING BELLS. This silly, yet fun distraction from the mind of David E. Kelly has started off wackier than ALLY MCBEAL finished, but, still there was a lot of potential. Not IMPORTANT TELEVISION by a long shot, but goofy enough for Mrs. Kimosabe and I to commit to a TiVo season pass.

The second episode was just as wacky, although it felt a bit disjointed - and now we understand why. It wasn't the second episode. It was THE THIRD. The second episode aired this past week (the third episode to be aired).

We finally got around to watching it tonight, and immediately realized we've been disrespected. Some high paid idiot in L.A. thinks we wouldn't notice that 50% of the character development we've observed was literally undone at the start of this episode.

This wasn't a matter of shooting episodes out of order for production needs - I completely understand that's something that happens from time to time. This is a case of a network airing episodes 101, 103, 102 and 104 - in that order.

It's a bit jarring when characters who carried on intimate conversations last week meet for the very first time the following week.

In the past, back when I had access to the FOX hotline, the explanation was always that the episode that aired was creatively stronger than the delayed episode.

Well, my answer to that is today's audience is smarter than the suits think.

I don't care if THE WEDDING BELLS is a good show or not. I don't care if it has a legitimate shot at being renewed. I don't care if FOX is burning off episodes on the cemetery row they call Friday night.

Ding, dong, my season pass is gone.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

FOX Takes the Lead

Last year FOX passed ABC for the full season victory in Adults 18-49 with about three days left in the season.

That's akin to a NASCAR driver taking the lead for the first time with 2 laps left in the Daytona 500.

It's like Joe Montana driving the 49ers down the field with 30 seconds left in the game to score the game winning touchdown.

The point is, it was a last second lead change and it was a bit dramatic. The entirety of the broadcast industry could see it coming, the momentum was palatable.

This year, things are very different. After an early strong start, ABC has stumbled badly since the turn of the calendar year. CBS scored well with the Super Bowl, but couldn't even turn that powerhouse event into a February sweeps win. NBC hasn't been a contender all year long.

Last night FOX tied CBS for the lead in Adults 18-49. Tonight, on the strength of a two hour episode of AMERICAN IDOL, FOX will pass CBS for first place.

This lead change was every bit as predictable as last year, the momentum has been just as palatable. The difference is this year, it's happening at the end of the 3rd quarter. There are still eleven weeks left in the season and none of FOX's competitors have an answer for FOX's passing game.

By the two minute warning, not only are we going to be looking at a blowout - but it will be painfully clear that the competition has no answer for how to stop FOX next year.

This is the third straight year FOX will have won or tied for first place in Adults 18-49.

In sports terms - that's a dynasty, baby!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Move On Moves Out

MoveOn.org has convinced the Nevada Democratic Party - and its candidates - to withdraw from participating in a live televised debate on Fox News.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

The Winner - WHAAMY

THE WINNER debuts tonight on FOX.

OK, to be fair, I haven't seen it. But my BS-ometer is pretty reliable - and it says to stay away from this stinker.

This show screams of what I refer to as a WHAAMY Project (We'll Happily Air Anything Made by You).

These projects are usually very bad ideas, generated by folks fortunate enough to have had lightning strike once before in their life.

FOX gave Mike Scully a WHAAMY deal. Scully is a long time writer/producer of THE SIMPSONS. One would think Anything Made by Him would probably be worth airing. Maybe not. The result was THE PITTS.

Literally.

THE WINNER is from FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD's Seth McFarland and stars THE DAILY SHOW'S Rob Corddry.

Six whole episodes have been produced. Four of them are available online - yep two-thirds of the entire series is already available on the internet - free of charge (FOX TV stations have got to be charged up about THAT).

FOX has displayed their deep confidence in the project by launching it immediately after the February sweeps - when it will do less damage to the ratings of your local FOX TV station (trust me - they ARE charged up about that one).

Further confidence is displayed by the net in the show's schedule. They'll be burning this bad boy of two episodes at a time, reducing the footprint of this embarrassment to a mere three weeks.

I have a suggestion for FOX. They're all about the innovation. Here's their chance to push the envelope again. How about airing THE WINNER split screen? They could put the audio for one episode on the left channel and the audio for the other in the right channel and burn the entire run off in 90 minutes.

My guess is there's a clause in McFarland's contract that requires a financial penalty to be paid by FOX if less than six episodes air. So, the net trots out and does its due diligence, a crappy show gets on the air.

And we all get the WHAAMY.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

FOX: The Head of the Class

By my calculations, FOX is about to something that's never been done - again.

Since the Super Bowl has been played during the February sweeps, the network carrying it has always cruised to an easy sweeps win (A18-49). Not this time.

The launch of ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER (which is by no means 'important television') has been so strong - the strongest series launch for FOX since 1994 - that the net has managed to catch up with CBS.

Sometime about 9PM Central, I think FOX passed them by - not by much, and not until the final day of the sweep, but the math says Rupert wins again.

SMARTER is a whole lot of fluff wrapped around about 5 minutes of entertainment, but unlike DEAL OR NO DEAL, it only runs for 30 minutes. Jeff Foxworthy makes a decent game show host. He knows his show and seems to be having a good time.

The kids are overly precocious child actors and the contestants must have to come in under 80 on an IQ test, but this thing is way more watchable than another round of THE SIMPLE LIFE.

The show's ratings will likely come down to Earth when FOX moves it to Thursdays at 8/7c in April. It will also expand to an hour, making it twice the fluff wrapped around twice the entertainment (10 minutes and hour!)

Thursday, February 22, 2007

IDOL - Girls Club

First impression - not a true blonde in the bunch. Twelve interchangeable brunettes. Nothing striking, or remarkable in terms of appearance.

Second impression - the winner of AMERICAN IDOL is not going to be a guy.

The winner of AMERICAN IDOL is SABRINA SLOAN. If she brings it like that every week, no one else stands a chance. Even Xtina is probably worried about this girl...

LESLIE HUNT - better than I expected. A huskier voice than I thought would come out of that tiny person.

ANTONELLA BARBA - Apparently there are spicy pics of her full on party mode circulating around the Internet. After tonight, I don't think anyone at IDOL is going to care.

HALEY SCARNATO - Learn to breath, honey. One of my biggest peeves is a singer who can't finish a lyric phrase without taking a breath. It's a skill that can be learned. Take a class.

ALAINA ALEXANDER - makes me yearn for the days of that horrid teenage singer from Hawaii. I'll have to ask Gretel what her name was..... Gretel?

GINA GLOCKSEN - Powerful, but cracky. Still Sabrina's to lose.

LAKISHA JONES - Damn! Why didn't any of the guys show this kind of confidence? Great performance - where does she go from here? (I think Sabrina's got more versatility and marketability.)

Note to Brendon Rogers - body language while in the dog pound is important. My TiVo caught Brendon crossing his arms in defiance while Simon was praising Sabrina (and dissing the boys at the same time). Gotta pretend to be a happy camper, buddy - or you'll go home sooner than you expect.

We'll see tomorrow - and remember to stick around for the very last O.C. ever.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Letters from Pan's Labyrinth

Over the last few years, I have developed the tradition of spending President's Day in the cinema.

I try to squeeze in as many Oscar contenders as possible during the week before the Oscars. It can make for quite a long day of 'important' films, but I'm better for it. I think.

Two years ago I managed to see SIDEWAYS, MILLION DOLLAR BABY and THE AVIATOR in one long, butt-numbing day. By seeing all three of these films back to back to back, I discovered they all shared one plot element in common - someone broke a nose in each film. Had I seen these films months apart, I might never have made the connection to what makes a film 'important.'

This year the local pickings were a bit slimmer. I was only able to see PAN' LABYRINTH (Best Foreign Film Nominee) and LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA (Best Picture Nominee).

Apparently, this year's measure of importance comes in subtitles.

Yep, I read two movies Monday. One in Spanish, one in Japanese. OK - that's facetious, I really have no complaints about subtitles. loved CROUCHING TIGER, love Hiro's scenes on HEROES, as well as Sun and Jin's scenes on LOST - and LOVE anything by Kurosawa.

As for this year's films, the real link was the amount of gruesome violence depicted. While I knew what I was getting in IWO JIMA, the level of sheer meanness displayed in LABYRINTH was hard to digest - and that's what makes the film brilliant.

LABYRINTH is almost a kid's flick. A little girl who lives in a harsh world finds a magical world to which she can escape. It is the harshness of her world that was surprising. Not going to give anything away, but it's very easy to understand why this Dorothy would want to escape to Oz.

As for IWO JIMA, war is hell. And the Japanese soldiers who are forced into sacrificing their lives for their 'beloved' Emperor go through enough levels of Hell to write their own epic poem. Clint Eastwood does a masterful job of directing this film. The muted colors (except for the brilliant scarlet reds) echo the dispair of the young men sentenced to die for a cause they don't really believe in.

The echoes of FLAG OF OUR FATHERS are brilliant.

All in all, my day was well spent. I saw two brilliantly photographed films. Both told a story of young people who are no longer in control of their future or their destiny, surrounded by untold violence.

Good stuff.

IDOL - Boys Club

So, I've finally had time to watch last night AMERICAN IDOL. The top 12 guys went at it, Seacrest and Cowell pretended to fight and several guys gave strong evidence that they should not survive to the IDOL Top 12.

SUNDANCE HEAD - Dude is just NOT living up to his original audition. America's not going to cut you much slack. Better get it in gear 'cause Simon can't save you from here on out.

BLAKE LEWIS - The beat box guy can really sing! I thought he was by far the best singer of the night. He could win this whole thing.

SANJAYA MALAKAR - OK, so how long will he get by on his hair? The girls are gonna eat him up, his looks may get him past this week, but if he doesn't start singing, he's toast.

CHRIS SLIGH - Really like this guy, too. I loved the fact that he and Blake both sang non-traditional IDOL songs. They were too hip for the room, but I think they scored well with the voters.

EVERYONE ELSE - Feh. Not worth writing about.

Let's see what the girls bring tonight.....

Fox News Gets an F

OK, I'm a conservative. I admit it. I'm not ashamed of it.

I listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

I get most of my news online, though I do enjoy SPECIAL REPORT WITH BRIT HUME on Fox News. I check in on Brit's 'Grapevine' segment and the roundtable discussion every day that my schedule allows.

I believe for the most part, Fox News follows it's motto of "We report, you decide." fairly faithfully. Their dominance in the 24 hours news market is certainly something the Suits at other cable news channels salivate over.

Last week, FNC made a rather serious blunder with the premiere of THE 1/2 HOUR NEWS HOUR, a conservative DAILY SHOW knockoff.

I haven't seen the show - but I did peek at a couple of minutes of it online.

It ain't funny. And while that's a problem all its own, my beef is simply this: it's on the wrong channel.

Irreverent commentary by the host of a discussion program is one thing. But a 30 minute comedy show that skewers one side of the aisle 100% of the time has no business on a 'fair and balanced' news network.

If Rupert Murdock feels a need to air a program like this, he needs to clear a time slot on FX and let FNC do more reporting so I can do more deciding.

At least that's the way I see it.....

Sunday, February 04, 2007

CBS Gets a 'C'

In retrospect, CBS's coverage of Super Bowl XLI was cold and impersonal, which somehow seems to be what I expected.

As the game wound down, the end no longer in doubt, CBS chose to ignore the multitude of personal stories taking place on the sidelines. There were no shots of Colts teammates congratulating each other, no shots of Bears players realizing their shot at the championship was slipping through their hands.

Instead, the announcers droned on about what was happening on the field - which to a football fan was pretty much irrelevant from about the 4 minute mark of the 4th quarter.

It's just another example of how square and clunky CBS is in the 21st century broadcasting world.

Apart from the Colts, the only other 2nd half winner I saw was the NFL. Their fan-written spot about how hard it is to say goodbye got a decent boost from some professional folks who spiffed up the original concept a bit - and throwing in a shot of Brett Favre was very nice.

Congrats to the Colts!

Now, I'm off to prep my resume for the GoDaddy Marketing team!

Super Bowl XLI: 1st Half

Through halftime:

Winners:

Prince! He was literally singing in Purple Rain. He's a queer bird and has a rep for being a demanding performer. But he stuck it out, gave a helluva a show in horrible conditions - and he was NOT lip synching. Most excellent!

Manning. Weather related slop aside, he took command of the game mid-way through the first quarter.

Chevy. Their spot featuring Chevy in classic American pop songs was smart.

Sprint. Connective dysfunction. Very clever.

Losers:

Grossman. Two fumbles snaps. Apart from one long run the Chicago offense has been non-existent.

Budweiser. Their series of spots have been uninspired and sophomoric. Nothing really clever there at all.

Careerbuilder.com. I miss the monkeys.

CBS. I'm watching in glorious Hi-Def, but the action is too far away from the camera for me to see any of the details hi-def should be bringing me.

Time for the second half....

This Commercial Brought to You by CBS

Wow. CBS is really whoring up it's Super Bowl pre-game show. I don't think I've ever seen such blatant product placement in a sports show. The first hour was presented by the new Eddie Murphy NORBIT - which means footage from the film was intercut with clips of the Colts and the Bears in the open.

Stuff like that has been happening for quite a while, but I still hate it.

Hour two was presented by Pizza Hut, which resulted in James Brown, Dan Marino and company actually eating a Cheesy Bites pizza from their desks.

I know commercial sponsorships are an important part of the broadcast, but this year, I think maybe CBS has gone too far.

As for the game - well, the last time the Bears played in the Super Bowl, Walter Peyton got a ring - his only one. This year, the Bears are back, but it's Peyton MANNING who's getting the gold.

My guess - Colts 27, Bears 10.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Ghost Rider vs. Evil Tax Man

Tonight during BONES, audiences were treated to a typical GHOST RIDER commercial. Immediately following it was something special.

It seems that after ridding the world of evil, Ghost Rider uses Jackson Hewitt to file his taxes. The agent was challenged by Mr. Rider's flaming W-2 form, but ultimately managed to slip Mr. Rider's quick refund loan into one of Mr. Rider's many pockets. You see, he couldn't just hand it to him, as it would burst into flames.

A pretty neat set of combo ads.

But then Mrs. Kimosabe pointed out a line from the movie spot that goes something like "After dark, whenever he's in the presence of evil, he will become the Ghost Rider."

So.....the flaming paperwork would seem to indicate that Jackson Hewitt is evil.

Seems a bit like Carnival Cruise Lines teaming up with Titanic, if you ask me.

Score one for the better half!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

IDOL - Up, Up and Away!

It seems we still don't know high "up" is.

The two night premiere of AMERICAN IDOL has redefined 'up' once again, delivering about 15% more eyeballs to sponsor messages than last year.

The numbers are simply gi-normous. 37 million folks. To give you some sort of scale, until this week DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES was the number one show on TV - delivering a mere 20 million viewers a week. IDOL isn't just #1, it's crossing the finish line while the other horses are entering the final turn.

The beastie out drew all the other networks combined.

Pity the poor CW. The FOX audience was 34 times larger than the CW.

One hour of IDOL = 34 hours of VERONICA MARS. That's more episodes than the show makes in a season. Granted, VERONICA was a re-run, but play along.

Following the above formula, if you were an advertiser who purchased a spot in every hour of IDOL for this season, you would have to buy VERONICA MARS once a week for 26 years to cume the same value.

26 years.

Friday, January 12, 2007

G4 Gets an F

Back in the day (1998-2004) there was a fine little cable channel called TECH TV.

It was a brilliant bit of narrowcasting, aimed at every level of computer users, novice to hacker. I didn't watch every day, but every time I checked in to see what Leo Laporte was up to on THE SCREEN SAVERS, I learned something.

It was basic cable at its most basic, and at its best.

Sometime in early 2004, G4 bought Tech TV, fired everybody and forced a merger of the two channels. Now G4 is all that remains of the little channel that could.

Tonight, while surfing, I bumped into G4's coverage of the Adult Entertainment Expo from Las Vegas. In the same week that Steve Jobs announced the launch the iPhone (trademark infringement lawsuit pending) at a much more important expo across town, G4 went booth to booth at AEE. The very same channel I used to watch Leo tell the world about cutting edge technology was covering porn.

Isn't ANYONE in charge THINKING? The suits at this channel actually thought this was PALATABLE? They felt THIS would serve their shareholders' best interests? I can't explain to you how uncomfortable it was to see the guy and gal hosts of the 'program' chatting about the 'coolness' of micro vibrators as if they were discussing the merits of the latest Playstation release.

Coverage included 'comedy' pieces about a school for adult actors and the history of porn - along with a count down of the top 10 adult DVDs of the year (including plentiful blurry clips).

Mind you, this wasn't on a premium cable channel. This wasn't REAL SEX on HBO. This was basic cable, covering a porn expo like they were covering a video game convention.

I understand that the young male audience G4 is targeting likes and consumes porn. But they also probably smoke their share of pot, too. Should the channel review the various paraphernalia used to smoke weed?

It's just bad form. Leo would be ashamed.

What's next, a lingerie fashion show on CBS?

Oh. Never mind.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

7 Minutes of Emptiness

At 6:53PM local time today, something happened that I haven't seen in years.

My TiVo was empty.

That's right. Empty. Caught up on THE O.C., HOUSE, HEROES - you name it. Nothing left to watch.

For seven whole minutes.

And then, at 7, the better half triggered some home fix it show on HGTV. At 8, we grabbed THE SOPRANOS on A&E.

And after seven minutes that must have seemed like an eternity to the magic little elves in the TiVo box, they weren't alone anymore.

Just goes to show how little has been on TV over the last 2 weeks.

Coming soon - 24, IDOL, LOST, BONES, HOUSE, HEROES, THE O.C., THE SIMPSONS, tons of stuff I won't have time to watch live.

Even the TiVo deserves a break for the holidays, right?

Now, back to work, you!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

FOX Juggernauts Return

It's got to be tough to be a suit at NBC, ABC or CBS this time of year. They all have to know they have but one more week of normalcy to enjoy before their world turns upside down. Again.

(Cue the theme to JAWS)

Yep, it's January and that means it's time for "24" and "AMERICAN IDOL" to return.

The Jack Bauer Power Hour is back following what I felt was one of its most disjointed, yet accessible seasons. Day 5 saw the show tweak its formula a bit, killing off several key characters and devising more payoffs within the 24 episode storyline.

These changes allowed new viewers to better understand the goings on. Complicated backstories were dispatched along with their associated characters. The multiple resolutions within the overall arc also allowed new viewers better access. Ultimately, I believe it was this new-found accessibility that allowed Emmy voters to award the show with its Best Drama trophy.

Day 6 promises Jack's return from Chinese custody and an outbreak of domestic terrorism that has claimed over 1,000 lives. You can see an extended promo for Day 6 here.

And then there's that other beastie, lurking in the distance - "AMERICAN IDOL."

Last year, I had my doubts about the continued growth of the franchise, but was ultimately proven wrong. This year, I'm expecting even higher numbers due to ABC's moving "LOST" out of the way. ABC's sacrificing of "THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY" and "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" stands as a spineless move by a network that has strayed from a very promising path.

Tons of promotional stuff, including downloads of previous contestants' new releases are available at americanidol.com.

How high is up for FOX? This may be the year we find out.