Apparently, while shopping in a Vistoria's Secret, Britney's baby needed a fresh nappy, so she changed the kid's diaper - right then and there - on the floor in the middle of the store.
Just goes to show - you can take the trash out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the trash.
It needed to be said.
What is the world coming to?
On May 4th, the Sci-Fi Network aired 4 episodes of LAW & ORDER:SVU back to back to back. Huh? Unless these episodes contained a mini-arc concerning an alien abduction or a detective getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle, someone over at NBC/Universal owes somebody an explanation. Makes as much sense as The Weather Channel showing HAWAII FIVE-O.
It's not just Sci-Fi you know. Cartoon Network recently added SAVED BY THE BELL to their lineup. That's a decision I may never, ever understand. SBTB? Bad idea. No one will ever be able to convince me that show belongs anywhere near that channel. Not gonna happen. You may as well try to convince me that FAMILY MATTERS belongs on Court TV - hey, it's got a cop in it doesn't it?
I'm finding it interesting to see how the business side of TV is nibbling away at the identities of cable network after cable network. There was a time not long ago when they bragged about not having to be 'broadcasters' like the Big 4. Bit by bit, they're changing their collective tune.
Bravo and A&E used to about 'art' - now their about gay designers and biographies. Ooh - wonder who'd get the rights to a biography about a gay designer?
Trio was supposed to about pop culture. Instead, it pooped out and has gone online.
Court TV was live trials, now it's becoming the police drama channel. But that's OK, we can't expect a trial of the century very day of the week.
And then there's the meandering life of TNN/Spike. The Nashville Network - how in the heck did that NOT make money? Well, it started branching out beyond music to become The National Network (a channel with no identity whatsoever) - and somewhere along the way became Spike. "TV's first channel for men" - completely ignoring the fact that ESPN beat them to the punch 20 years earlier.
And speaking of ESPN - there's a channel that knows what it is and is sticking with it. Sure, they throw in an occasional game show, sports movie or reality series, but it's still all about the sports. Are you listening MTV?
MTV. Hmph. Don't get me started. Used to be music TV. Now, it's what they call 'musical television.' Lame, guys. Really lame. And look how long it took to strip MTV2 of it's manhood. In just six months it's become a reality TV slum just like it's big brother.
Well, at least I still have Fuse.
Office pool time - how long before the NFL Network starts showing bowling?
SPOILERS BELOW
The last ten minutes of the season finale of THE SOPRANOS were some of the most captivating, edge-of-my-seat moments since....well since Picard got all Borgified. I was a bundle of nerves, expecting the big whack to come any minute.
Every time Christopher was on screen, the pace of the episode slowed to a crawl but in a good way. An intense, 'holy crap they're about to whack Christopher' sort of crawl.
And then, nothing.
And then back to Chris and another long, gut-wrenching scene with undertones of promised violence so intense it distracted from the dialogue.
And still, nothing.
Then, the family gathers for a perfect little XMAS. Everyone's there (except for Adrianna) and again the moment was too happy, too perfect not to be destroyed by the threat of imminent violence about to be unleashed on this family. How could a peaceful moment be allowed to go unchallenged in this world? Holy cow, they're gonna blow up Tony's house with everyone in it! The tension is killing me!
And nothing.
There are a lot of fanboys out there who are thoroughly disgusted with this episode, and the entire season for that matter. I am not one of them. Just like LOST, I'm along for the ride. (That's another post entirely) I'm enjoying Tony's attempts to treat every day as a gift - and how his life is faighting back against that choice. In fact, at one point I thought Tony might be considering buying Tony Sack's interest in that New Orleans shipping concern just to relocate and get away from Jersey and all the baggage that comes with it.
But not so.
So what did we see last night? A happy ending that will be stretched into 8 more episodes? A series limping past it's prime? I don't think so. My guess is last night was Camelot. For one brief shining moment, happiness. A room filled with gifts - just like every day in the rest of Tony's life.
In January, the bills are going to come due and there's going to be hell to pay.
SPOILERS BELOW
It must have been hard to be Ron Howard growing up. At some point. A brilliant child actor becomes a two-time TV star, breaks into movie directing and makes some of the most brilliant films of the last ten years. A direct path to Hollywood immortality.
Unfortunately with "The Da Vinci Code" he has finally become an underachiever.
I think Ron made several key errors in attempting to remain too true to the runaway best selling novel by Dan Brown. What should have been an Indy Jones style thriller, became a very talky, fairly slow film with an extreme lack of suspense. Exposition, exposition, exposition! And after the exposition, the characters told us what was going on one more time just to make sure we got it! STOP!
Think back to the INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE. In it, Dr. Jones presents several key exposition points to his class very early in the film - like "X never, ever marks the spot." Later in the film when it does, we remember that line and are able to follow along without further comment.
In staying faithful to the book, Howard failed to make efficient use of Langdon's speech about ancient iconography. Had he mentioned the male and female triangles that are discussed later in the film, we would have been prepared for it in advance, and we would have been spared yet another lesson on symbology. As a result, Langdon's speech was useless in terms of exposition and ate up valuable screen time.
Then there's the climax at about the two hour mark, followed by 20 minutes of 'revelation' but absolutely no danger for the characters, no energy, no oomph. It read well in book form, but as a follow up to the previous 2 hours, the sequence just falls flat.
Sometimes one has to wander away from the source material a bit to make it more interesting in a different medium. Take "Jurassic Park," for instance. A great book. A great movie - but a movie that differs from the book in significant ways. Surely, SOMEONE could have tightened things up for us at the end of "Da Vinci." Wasn't there some way to continue the peril for the characters as we worked up to the 'big reveal?' Isn't that why they pay screenwriters the big bucks?
So, color me disappointed. There's nothing as tough as failing to live up to one's potential. Little Ronnie Howard may be mortal after all.
