NBC Blinks, Caves to Self

Last week's announcement that NBC was foregoing scripted programs in the 8/7 c hour has already been kicked to the curb.

In a move that screams of kowtowing to critics, Jeff Zucker is re-racking Thursday nights into a rather pale imitation of Must See TV years of old.

Effective 11/30 your new Thursday night lineup will be:

700p Earl
730p The Office
800p Scrubs
830p 30 Rock
900p ER

At least until somebody complains....

Seems to me that Mr. Zucker's commitment to a sensible plan consists of licking his finger and holding into the air. If Jeffy knew what the hell he was doing, he'd LEAD and do what he thinks is best for NBC, regardless of critics' opinions.

Remember... fire Zucker, save the network.

NBC Gives Up

Allow me to introduce you to Jeff Zucker, CEO of NBC Universal. Jeff has a novel approach to finding success in the business world - surrender.

Zucker just announced NBCU's plans for 2007. Goal number one is to save $750 million.

To accomplish this, he's cutting over 700 jobs. He's also cutting programming costs by eliminating scripted programming from the first hour of prime time. That's right. No scripted sitcoms or dramas, just game shows and reality shows.

This from the network that once pish-poshed FOX's reliance in reality in the late '90s.

Any guesses as to which studio will be producing these non-scripted shows? Think Zucker is going to be paying Disney or Paramount to develop these cost cutting shows? No way. These shows will ALL be produced by NBCU for NBCU (and repurposed ON NBCU's multitude of channels) on the cheap, FOR the cheap.

For the cheap? Yep, that's exactly what I mean. Seems Zucker doesn't find the income levels of the folks who watch at 8/7 Central satisfactory. You see, the great unwashed common folk - the ones who don't buy Cadillacs - aren't worth spending money on.

It's only the elite that watch the next two hours of programming that Zucker finds worthy of producing quality product for. One wonders if Jeffy is expecting the great unwashed that watch NBC in 8/7 Central to go somewhere else at 9/8 Central. One also wonders how such crap is going to perform as a lead-in to his alleged 'quality' programming.

Folks, this is corporate verticality at its worst. Who cares if NBC is non-competitive at 8/7 Central, as long as NBCU can cover the cost by running DEAL OR NO DEAL on CNBC?

1984 is here. NBCU is going to win by not competing.

NBC's lone new hit show of the season is HEROES. The theme there is "Save the cheerleader, save the world."

I'd like to suggest a new slogan for NBC.

"Fire Zucker, save the network."

Bing. Bong. Bing.

Bart's Network Gets an 'F'

FOX airs fifteen hours of prime time programming each week.

Between now and November 2nd, nine of those hours will see new programs.

Monday, October 23rd JUSTICE moves to Monday nights, following PRISON BREAK. I'd be curious to hear the logic behind this move. Does JUSTICE really stand any better chance against HEROES than VANISHED?

Friday, October 27th, VANISHED leads off the night, followed by TRADING SPOUSES. What's the point? This past week, the series KILLED OFF ITS LEAD CHARACTER! Why anyone would follow the new version of this convoluted show to a new night after almost three weeks off is beyond me.

Tuesday, October 31st, in a stupefying move that was planned from the beginning, STANDOFF and HOUSE swap time slots, with STANDOFF now leading off the night. I didn't get this when it was announced in May. I still don't understand it. If STANDOFF wraps up its first season in time for AMERICAN IDOL's return to the schedule, wouldn't it make sense to keep the very strong HOUSE as a lead-in as long as possible? Does the network really believe STANDOFF will do better without the benefit of the HOUSE lead-in?

Wednesday, November 1st, BONES gets a new lead-out, THE RICH LIST. Billed as the biggest thing to come from England since WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE, reality says it's cheap fodder that is being sacrificed to LOST.

And then there's the Thursday night launch of THE OC. It's returning at its regular time slot, but it's still another show that has to be added into the promotional mix.

My biggest question is, what's the point? What's the point of launching your new fall lineup before the beginning of the official Nielsen season if you're going to re-rack everything after three weeks off for baseball?

If fans of STANDOFF have made room for the new show in their schedule at 9/8C, why move it at all - let alone after a three week hiatus? Fans of VANISHED who haven't completely rejected the show for disposing of the star, probably aren't going to go to any extra effort to find the show at the other end of the week. New viewers who bump into the show on Friday night aren't going to find an approachable show. It's extremely inaccessible to new viewers.

All the branding and promotional efforts of the fall launch have been pitched out the window. FOX is keeping all of six hours of prime time in place. SIX HOURS. That's a meager 40%. And that doesn't take into account the immenent cancellation of HAPPY HOUR.

40% is an F in anyone's notebook.

SNL is no Studio 60

Maybe I'm spoiled by the great writing behind the scenes at NBC's other late night show, STUDIO 60, or maybe SNL just isn't funny.

I'm betting on the latter.

The show is beautiful in Hi-Def, but it's just not funny.

After watching how the fictional STUDIO 60 crew busted their collective humps to come up with a brilliant cold open for their season opener, SNL's retread of yet another 'President Bush is dumb' sketch paled in comparison.

Dane Cook's monologue - not funny. How did this guy become so popular if this is his best stuff?

Many in the industry speculated that SNL would get increased sampling because of the presence of STUDIO 60. It probably did. I haven't seen any numbers, but it's why I checked in.

It's also why I checked out.

Maybe Aaron Sorkin should send over some of his show's rejected sketches.

Put a fork in SNL. It's done.