The Wedding Bells Toll

FOX has done it again.

While Rupert's network may be #1 in prime time, it has a long history of screwy scheduling that it just can't seem to shake.

For some ungodly reason no one has ever attempted to explain, FOX continually schedules episodes of serial shows out of order. They did it regularly to SLIDERS back in the day. They did it to JOHN DOE. They did it to FIREFLY. Recently, they've done it to THE WAR AT HOME.

ATTENTION NETWORK SUITS! You can't expect folks to follow a continuing storyline if you don't show the story IN ORDER!

The freshest example is THE WEDDING BELLS. This silly, yet fun distraction from the mind of David E. Kelly has started off wackier than ALLY MCBEAL finished, but, still there was a lot of potential. Not IMPORTANT TELEVISION by a long shot, but goofy enough for Mrs. Kimosabe and I to commit to a TiVo season pass.

The second episode was just as wacky, although it felt a bit disjointed - and now we understand why. It wasn't the second episode. It was THE THIRD. The second episode aired this past week (the third episode to be aired).

We finally got around to watching it tonight, and immediately realized we've been disrespected. Some high paid idiot in L.A. thinks we wouldn't notice that 50% of the character development we've observed was literally undone at the start of this episode.

This wasn't a matter of shooting episodes out of order for production needs - I completely understand that's something that happens from time to time. This is a case of a network airing episodes 101, 103, 102 and 104 - in that order.

It's a bit jarring when characters who carried on intimate conversations last week meet for the very first time the following week.

In the past, back when I had access to the FOX hotline, the explanation was always that the episode that aired was creatively stronger than the delayed episode.

Well, my answer to that is today's audience is smarter than the suits think.

I don't care if THE WEDDING BELLS is a good show or not. I don't care if it has a legitimate shot at being renewed. I don't care if FOX is burning off episodes on the cemetery row they call Friday night.

Ding, dong, my season pass is gone.

FOX Takes the Lead

Last year FOX passed ABC for the full season victory in Adults 18-49 with about three days left in the season.

That's akin to a NASCAR driver taking the lead for the first time with 2 laps left in the Daytona 500.

It's like Joe Montana driving the 49ers down the field with 30 seconds left in the game to score the game winning touchdown.

The point is, it was a last second lead change and it was a bit dramatic. The entirety of the broadcast industry could see it coming, the momentum was palatable.

This year, things are very different. After an early strong start, ABC has stumbled badly since the turn of the calendar year. CBS scored well with the Super Bowl, but couldn't even turn that powerhouse event into a February sweeps win. NBC hasn't been a contender all year long.

Last night FOX tied CBS for the lead in Adults 18-49. Tonight, on the strength of a two hour episode of AMERICAN IDOL, FOX will pass CBS for first place.

This lead change was every bit as predictable as last year, the momentum has been just as palatable. The difference is this year, it's happening at the end of the 3rd quarter. There are still eleven weeks left in the season and none of FOX's competitors have an answer for FOX's passing game.

By the two minute warning, not only are we going to be looking at a blowout - but it will be painfully clear that the competition has no answer for how to stop FOX next year.

This is the third straight year FOX will have won or tied for first place in Adults 18-49.

In sports terms - that's a dynasty, baby!

Move On Moves Out

MoveOn.org has convinced the Nevada Democratic Party - and its candidates - to withdraw from participating in a live televised debate on Fox News.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal.

The Winner - WHAAMY

THE WINNER debuts tonight on FOX.

OK, to be fair, I haven't seen it. But my BS-ometer is pretty reliable - and it says to stay away from this stinker.

This show screams of what I refer to as a WHAAMY Project (We'll Happily Air Anything Made by You).

These projects are usually very bad ideas, generated by folks fortunate enough to have had lightning strike once before in their life.

FOX gave Mike Scully a WHAAMY deal. Scully is a long time writer/producer of THE SIMPSONS. One would think Anything Made by Him would probably be worth airing. Maybe not. The result was THE PITTS.

Literally.

THE WINNER is from FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD's Seth McFarland and stars THE DAILY SHOW'S Rob Corddry.

Six whole episodes have been produced. Four of them are available online - yep two-thirds of the entire series is already available on the internet - free of charge (FOX TV stations have got to be charged up about THAT).

FOX has displayed their deep confidence in the project by launching it immediately after the February sweeps - when it will do less damage to the ratings of your local FOX TV station (trust me - they ARE charged up about that one).

Further confidence is displayed by the net in the show's schedule. They'll be burning this bad boy of two episodes at a time, reducing the footprint of this embarrassment to a mere three weeks.

I have a suggestion for FOX. They're all about the innovation. Here's their chance to push the envelope again. How about airing THE WINNER split screen? They could put the audio for one episode on the left channel and the audio for the other in the right channel and burn the entire run off in 90 minutes.

My guess is there's a clause in McFarland's contract that requires a financial penalty to be paid by FOX if less than six episodes air. So, the net trots out and does its due diligence, a crappy show gets on the air.

And we all get the WHAAMY.

FOX: The Head of the Class

By my calculations, FOX is about to something that's never been done - again.

Since the Super Bowl has been played during the February sweeps, the network carrying it has always cruised to an easy sweeps win (A18-49). Not this time.

The launch of ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER (which is by no means 'important television') has been so strong - the strongest series launch for FOX since 1994 - that the net has managed to catch up with CBS.

Sometime about 9PM Central, I think FOX passed them by - not by much, and not until the final day of the sweep, but the math says Rupert wins again.

SMARTER is a whole lot of fluff wrapped around about 5 minutes of entertainment, but unlike DEAL OR NO DEAL, it only runs for 30 minutes. Jeff Foxworthy makes a decent game show host. He knows his show and seems to be having a good time.

The kids are overly precocious child actors and the contestants must have to come in under 80 on an IQ test, but this thing is way more watchable than another round of THE SIMPLE LIFE.

The show's ratings will likely come down to Earth when FOX moves it to Thursdays at 8/7c in April. It will also expand to an hour, making it twice the fluff wrapped around twice the entertainment (10 minutes and hour!)