Zucker Delivers Death Blow to NBC

Monday, NBC idiot-in-chief, the honorable Jeff Zucker wondered aloud to the press about the continued viability of NBC if it must program 22 hours each and every week.

He floated the idea of dropping one night of programming, or rolling back prime time by one hour. His reason? "Three of our competitors do it." That's right folks, the network that once laughed at FOX as the network you needed aluminum foil on your antenna to pick up, now considers MyNetwork and The CW as legitimate threats to the Peacock.

Ridiculous.

If tonight's internet and industry rumors can be trusted, Jeff's solution seems to be to move Jay Leno into the 10/9 Central time slot - FIVE NIGHTS PER WEEK.

Brilliant.

Conan is getting THE TONIGHT SHOW soon, and Zucker has been struck with the brilliant idea of repurposing Jay himself.

Granted, this move will mean five hours less development that NBC has to fund.

However, it will also cede NBC's strongest hour of the night to the competition. Jeff, you can't honestly tell me you expect HERE'S JAY! (or whatever the hell you're going to call it) to bring in the same audience that the LAW & ORDER franshise does.

My guess is - up to two-thirds of the NBC procedural drama crowd will relocate to ABC and CBS. There will also be another substantial portion of the NBC audience that will find the early news on the local FOX station more palatable.

No matter what, fewer people will watch NBC.

Folks, we're talking about a time slot in which ER used to get a 40 share with new episodes. But instead of fighting for important time slots with original, creative product, Zucker has constantly programmed with an eye toward repurposing on cable first.

Next week, this poor excuse for a programming schedule will feature a dance competition better suited for summer and a relationship 'reality' piece of crap that belongs on MTV.

This is simply preposterous ignorance on display for the world to see - in Hi-Def.

How can GE shareholders continue to allow this man to destroy one of broadcasting's gems? Please, can't someone swoop in and purchase this once mighty network and save it from this pathetic excuse for a TV executive?

In the world of bad ideas, Zucker is king.

Fire Zucker, save the network.

Zucker Strikes Again

The New York Times is reporting that Jeff Zucker has decided that NBC will no longer be producing pilots for their new shows. It seems actually producing a sample episode of an unproven concept is simply too expensive for the vertically integrated company's 21st century business model.

“It’s clear we are in a recession in the United States, and we’re going to have to manage our business accordingly,” he said.

Oh NBC's in a recession alright - but it has nothing to do with the economy.

“Sometimes you see the world from a different perspective when you’re flat on your back,” he said. “At NBC Entertainment we’ve been flat on our backs for the last few years.”

Wonder who was in charge the whole time....

Of course, Jeff probably doesn't need to see samples of the shows he wants to add to the lineup - because the quality of the program isn't the most important thing to him.

Number one on his list? Is the show produced by NBC/Universal?

Vertical integration at its finest.

Fire Zucker. Save the network.

Hasta la Vista, NBC

It's that time of year again.

The mid-season blues are hitting most of the broadcast networks - magnified by the continuing writers' strike - and the FOX freight train is a comin'.

Last week, NBC struck gold with the debut of AMERICAN GLADIATORS. This retread of a crappy syndicated pile of poo from the '80s actually managed to score the largest audience of any new series of the season.

Until Sunday.

The debut of TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES cranked out the best FOX series premiere numbers since the debut of MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE in 2000.

It's the biggest new show debut on network TV of the season. And thank God - it's scripted.

It's only going to get worse for the competition.

IDOL returns tomorrow.

Say goodnight, Mr. Zucker.

Evan Almighty Spolied For All

I don't get it.

I just don't get it.

Have you seen the latest spots for EVAN ALMIGHTY? The latest can be seen at the film's official site.

The early marketing for what may be a cute, clever followup to BRUCE ALMIGHTY featured STEVE CARRELL (voice of Hammy in OVER THE HEDGE and star of THE FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN) as a reluctant modern day Noah. In these spots, his character was obviously struggling with the validity of his mission, changes in his appearance, and the arrival of lots and lots of pairs of animals who were eager to help build his ark.

These spots highlighted Evan's reluctance to accept his mission, his wife's embarrassment at the situation and the animals. Cute, funny stuff punctuated with Evan's line: "Is it too much to ask for a LITTLE PRECIPITATION?"

We're left to wonder whether or not the rain will ever come, whether Evan's faith will be rewarded.

Well, worry no more.

New spots for the film have started to air that features shots of the ark white water rafting through city streets, sloshing in between skyscrapers while the generic cityscape is drowned in untold depths of water.

I no longer need to see this film. I know how it ends.

It floods.

I swear to all things promotional - I would wager my house that some airhead in a focus group expressed dimwitted concern about Evan's quandary. And I would wager YOUR house that some dimwitted suit at - wait for it - NBC/UNIVERSAL figured they'd better allay those fears by giving away the ending while highlighting those expensive special effects they paid for and were hiding from the public.

When I started writing this I had no idea what studio was distributing this film. And now that I do... I get it.

Why do SO many things that suck come from the desk of Mr. Zucker?

Would it be too much to ask for a LITTLE INTELLIGENCE????

Fire Zucker, save the studio.

Are the TV Gods Smiling?

First Sanjaya gets voted off AMERICAN IDOL. (Yay!)

Then Rosie O'Donnell decides $10 million over three years wasn't enough to stay on THE VIEW.

And Alec Baldwin has asked NBC to be allowed to quit 30 ROCK.

Now... if we could just do something about NBC CEO Jeff Zucker...