Another Week, Another Bad Trend for Net TV

Something disturbing has developed in the world of network TV.

OK, so name a week when that sentence doesn't apply.

This week's pattern that has emerged is the rise of Univision. Or maybe not so much the rise of Univision, as the collapse of ABC and NBC to below Univision levels.

This past Monday the finale of SUPERSTARS OF DANCE and the second part of KNIGHTS TEMPLAR finished 5th in their time slots in Adults 18-49 and Adults 18-34. The good news is that NBC managed to beat reruns on the CW.

Tuesday, ABC's HOMELAND SECURITY USA trailed UNI's CIUDADO CON EL ANGEL in A-18-49 & 18-34, while SCRUBS trailed FUEGO EN LA SANGRE in total viewers by 30,000 people.

Wednesday, CIUDADO CON EL ANGEL beat everything but AMERICAN IDOL in the demos during the first hour of prime time. A Katie Couris news special, a new KNIGHT RIDER, a rerun of last week's LOST and a repeat of PRIVELEGED were all dispatched by Spanish language telenovela.

And it's not like CIUDADO is a ratings blockbuster. It's winning with a 2.1 rating. The other nets can't make it to a 2 against IDOL? Ouch.

SANGRE bumped UNI's performance up to a 2.4 18-34 demo rating and beat a repeat of CRIMINAL MINDS, LAW & ORDER and 90210.

At 10/9c DON FRANCISCO PRESENTA beat LIFE ON MARS and a rerun of CSI: NY with a 1.6 rating in 18-34.

It doesn't end there.

Thursday, with a special edition of IDOL in the mix, it's more of the same.

CIUDADO came within one tenth of a point of catching a second place rerun of CRIMINAL MINDS in A18-49. In 18-34s, it beat CRIMINAL MINDS by a good 8 tenths. That's a substantial margin when 2nd place only scores a 2.3.

So what are we seeing here?

1) Network reruns have almost ZERO appeal to 18-34 year olds who are being trained by these very same networks to go online to catch episiodes the miss?

2) UNIVISION represents a growing Latino market. Not proven. UNI's success seems to have an upper limit. It's the other nets collapse that is the equalizer here.

3) IDOL destroys everything in its path when it coms to 18-34s. Not mentioned above are the 8s and 9s in 18-34 compared to everyone else's 2s and 1.5s

What do you think?

Superstars of Dance

One wonders how a good performance competition program ever gets to the air.

It takes a great concept, capable producers, spiffy sets, qualified directors, an engaging host and apparently lightning in a bottle.

NBC's SUPERSTARS OF DANCE is produced by Nigel Lithgow, also producer of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE and a former producer of AMERICAN IDOL. Nigel knows performance competition and he knows dance. That's a big positive.

The concept of dance troupes from across the world competing head to head may initially sound like a good idea, but so did FOX's WORLD IDOL special following the first season of AMERICAN IDOL. (Kelly Clarkson came in 2nd to a hobbit.) Gonna call this one a near miss.

As for the set... well let's start with the fact that we have a production concept screaming out for swooping, sweeping camera movement - a design that should require a Hi-Def production. However, my widescreen was cropped on the sides for this one. What a wasted opportunity to show off HD with some spectacular spectacle.

Unfortunately, it's pretty clear that production cost-savings are all over this production. Chintzy set elements, a small stage (even IDOL's stage is bigger and no one's dancing on that show!) inexplicably dark lighting and poor camera choices add up to a look that is hard to explain. It's just not big enough, energetic enough, professional enough or produced enough to meet a smart audience's expectations. Big miss on this one. Not even close.

Host Michael Flattley may have once been the Lord of the Dance, but he's no Ryan Seacrest, Cat Deely or even Tom Bergeron. Big miss on this one too.

Suffice to say, there ain't no lightning in this bottle, folks. A convoluted contest, with rules that are yet to be explained, no audience participation and sub-par production values in what amounts to a program better suited for a summer run - all comes together in what may foretell where NBC is headed in the future.

TV is not spaghetti. You can't just produce it, throw it against the wall and see if it sticks. It has to be done right - or you as well not do it at all. If this is an example of NBC''s cost cutting coookie-cutter copycat approach to success, GE stockholders are going to be needing bottles filled with something with a bit more of a kick than lightning.

SUPERSTARS OF DANCE is a dud that no peacock would be proud of.

Zucker Delivers Death Blow to NBC

Monday, NBC idiot-in-chief, the honorable Jeff Zucker wondered aloud to the press about the continued viability of NBC if it must program 22 hours each and every week.

He floated the idea of dropping one night of programming, or rolling back prime time by one hour. His reason? "Three of our competitors do it." That's right folks, the network that once laughed at FOX as the network you needed aluminum foil on your antenna to pick up, now considers MyNetwork and The CW as legitimate threats to the Peacock.

Ridiculous.

If tonight's internet and industry rumors can be trusted, Jeff's solution seems to be to move Jay Leno into the 10/9 Central time slot - FIVE NIGHTS PER WEEK.

Brilliant.

Conan is getting THE TONIGHT SHOW soon, and Zucker has been struck with the brilliant idea of repurposing Jay himself.

Granted, this move will mean five hours less development that NBC has to fund.

However, it will also cede NBC's strongest hour of the night to the competition. Jeff, you can't honestly tell me you expect HERE'S JAY! (or whatever the hell you're going to call it) to bring in the same audience that the LAW & ORDER franshise does.

My guess is - up to two-thirds of the NBC procedural drama crowd will relocate to ABC and CBS. There will also be another substantial portion of the NBC audience that will find the early news on the local FOX station more palatable.

No matter what, fewer people will watch NBC.

Folks, we're talking about a time slot in which ER used to get a 40 share with new episodes. But instead of fighting for important time slots with original, creative product, Zucker has constantly programmed with an eye toward repurposing on cable first.

Next week, this poor excuse for a programming schedule will feature a dance competition better suited for summer and a relationship 'reality' piece of crap that belongs on MTV.

This is simply preposterous ignorance on display for the world to see - in Hi-Def.

How can GE shareholders continue to allow this man to destroy one of broadcasting's gems? Please, can't someone swoop in and purchase this once mighty network and save it from this pathetic excuse for a TV executive?

In the world of bad ideas, Zucker is king.

Fire Zucker, save the network.

Rosie Kicks Off Holidays with a Turkey

NBC and Rosie O'Donell took a shot at bringing back the variety show last night, and let's just say we're glad there won't be any leftovers from this turkey.

The critics have not been kind - which is fitting. Rosie hasn't been Ms. Warmth over the last few years herself.

Check out the reviews.

TV Guide: Dead on Arrival

New York Times: Hokey Comedy with an Enemy List

L.A. Times: What Was She Thinking?

The Hollywood Reporter: Rosie Disappoints

Maybe now Rosie can go away for a decade or so.

Please?

Emmy & the New Season

OK.

It's been a while. A long while since I have posted. For that, I apologize.

It's not that I haven't been consuming pop culture, goodness knows it isn't that. It's just that time has been so difficult to come by over the last few months.

Things are settling down, the new TV season is upon us - and there's snarkiness to be shared!

Where to start?

How about the Emmys? There's something there that sums up the last season for me completely.

Five hosts, from five 'reality' shows found it extremely difficult to fill the opening five minutes of the presentation. You see, they were winging it. Nothing was written down for them. And it stunk to high heaven.

Apparently writers ARE important - even to 'reality' shows. Perhaps, expecially to 'reality' shows. Without someone driving the storyline in a particular direction, guess what - TV becomes way too real (read 'boring').

Kudos to Tom Bergeron and Ryan Seacrest for barely participating in the 'winging' - they looked embarrassed to be on the stage, and seemed to sense the true nature of the train wreck that was about to unfold before their eyes.

Meanwhile, the ratings for the snoozefest were down to record lows. Could it be that viewers didn't give much of a rip since the last episode of most of their favorite broadcast shows were aired in January?

And what to make of the dominance of cable? JOHN ADAMS, MAD MEN and BREAKING BAD scored major wins following a season of malaise.

NBC and FOX have both debuted clunker shows that shouldn't have seen the light of day outside of the summer season. All the nets have shows on their schedules that were purchased without a true pilot.

The after shocks of the writers' strike have not ended. This season doesn't look like it's going to have any breakout, water-cooler type pop culture icons. Where is this year's HEROES, 24, or AMERICAN IDOL?

I'll tell you - it didn't get made. I mean, where would we put it? That slot is taken by KNIGHT RIDER, HOLE IN THE WALL or DO NOT DISTURB.

It's gonna be a long season.

Zucker Strikes Again

The New York Times is reporting that Jeff Zucker has decided that NBC will no longer be producing pilots for their new shows. It seems actually producing a sample episode of an unproven concept is simply too expensive for the vertically integrated company's 21st century business model.

“It’s clear we are in a recession in the United States, and we’re going to have to manage our business accordingly,” he said.

Oh NBC's in a recession alright - but it has nothing to do with the economy.

“Sometimes you see the world from a different perspective when you’re flat on your back,” he said. “At NBC Entertainment we’ve been flat on our backs for the last few years.”

Wonder who was in charge the whole time....

Of course, Jeff probably doesn't need to see samples of the shows he wants to add to the lineup - because the quality of the program isn't the most important thing to him.

Number one on his list? Is the show produced by NBC/Universal?

Vertical integration at its finest.

Fire Zucker. Save the network.

Hasta la Vista, NBC

It's that time of year again.

The mid-season blues are hitting most of the broadcast networks - magnified by the continuing writers' strike - and the FOX freight train is a comin'.

Last week, NBC struck gold with the debut of AMERICAN GLADIATORS. This retread of a crappy syndicated pile of poo from the '80s actually managed to score the largest audience of any new series of the season.

Until Sunday.

The debut of TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES cranked out the best FOX series premiere numbers since the debut of MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE in 2000.

It's the biggest new show debut on network TV of the season. And thank God - it's scripted.

It's only going to get worse for the competition.

IDOL returns tomorrow.

Say goodnight, Mr. Zucker.

Change in the Weather

The holidays are over and now the post-holiday blues are ready to set in - and this year (thanks to the writer's strike) there's not going to be much new TV to help pull one out of the funk.

But, we shall endeavor to persevere.

I've had several opinions over the last month, but not nearly enough time to post.

The most troubling development in TV (beyond the strike, which MAY just cripple broadcast TV for a long time) is Thursday's announcement that the Weather Channel is for sale.

The Weather Channel (TWC) and weather.com, up until now, have been fiercely independent. TWC isn't part of any massive vertically integrated congolmerate.

Yet.

The company most interested in TWC? Why, it's NBC/Universal.

Yep. The man who has ruined so much of so many cable and broadcast entities, Jeff Zucker, may be getting his hands on a channel that is uniquely positioned in the cable world.

In a time when Sci-Fi shows wrestling, and History explores UFOs ad nauseum, TWC has managed to pretty much cover THE WEATHER 24/7.

Two things could happen if NBCU gets TWC.

First, we could see program changes. Perhaps some weather related disaster films produced in Canada, TWC meteorologists doing forecasts for NFL Sunday night games, maybe a variety show featuring The Weather Girls or guest celebrity forecasts featuring the briefcase girls from DEAL OR NO DEAL.

Second, the hideous force-fed Green Week on NBCU channels will be aggressively expanded. You see, the company that controls NBCU is General Electric. It is GE's stated goal to promote the concept of global warming in order to promote compact fluorescent bulbs, along with other 'green' technologies that would not be adopted without mountains of propaganda.

Imagine the outcry if Exxon controlled NewsCorp.

Meanwhile, the FCC is going ahead with its plan to change the rules about cross ownership of TV stations and newspapers.

Soon we will be exposed only to the messages that GE, Disney, Coke, McDonald's and Rupert Murdoch want us to see.

None of this is good news.

Stay tuned.

ER & Political Product Placement

Sometimes there's something beneficial to watching several episodes of a series back to back. It's way easier to spot trends when the chapters aren't separated by a full week of the mundanities of life.

Take my recent experience with ER, for example.

It's not a big thing - and quite possibly something I wouldn't have noticed had I not been cleaning out the TiVo.

But...in back to back episodes characters from ER mentioned Democratic presidential candidates in passing and in a positive light. Both Obama and Hillary got what might have passed for product placement had they been Gateway computers or hybrid cars. They weren't ringing endorsements a la "I'm voting for Obama!" but they were positive mentions nonetheless.

One wonders - once the writers' strike is over, will there be enough election process remaining for John Edwards or any of the Republican candidates to receive anything approaching equal time?

ER Goes Green, Badly

Wow.

Just watched the 'green' episode of ER - the one that aired in NBC/Universal's ridiculous GREEN WEEK.

What a pitiful, forced, badly written attempt at subliminal propaganda.

From a tie-dyed hippie sing-a-long (I swear the guy was actually wearing a tie-dyed T-shirt) to not-so-subtle lines discussing the inconvenience of truth, to the product placement storyline featuring one of the doctor's new itty-bitty car, this episode stunk.

Part of the reason the Writers' Guild is out on strike right now is because they're being forced to write commercials like this into their story lines 1) without a share of the money earned by such commercial placement, and 2) without regard to how crippling said placement may be to a storyline.

And while this may not have been product placement in its purest sense, there's no doubt the massages were forced into the hour. No characters came out and said "Mmm McDonald's - I'm lovin' it." But I suppose it's hard to work "I'm Al Gore and I used to be the next president of the United States." into many plots.

This episode of ER was shameful. This show used to be a strong, forceful energetic being. Now the show is like an exotic dancer who's past her prime. Just going through the motions for the tips.

If I were the writer who created Abby Lockhart, I'd consider suing for literal defamation of character.

Elsewhere in GREEN WEEK, Al Gore's appearance on 30 ROCK was a great self-parody, akin to the treatment he gets over on SOUTH PARK. At least the guy who used to be the next president of the united States has a sense of humor about himself.

Random Thoughts 070907

It's been a while since I've posted anything - been a bit busy with the new real-life gig and a loooong drive south for the 4th.

My last post blasted the marketing department for giving away the ending of EVAN ALMIGHTY. It turns out, maybe they did us all a favor.

Ken Levine, writer of M*A*SH, CHEERS and lotsa other TV, reports that EVAN was assembled from two completely separate scripts - each written by a two person team. Those scripts were mashed together by a fifth writer, selected by the film's director. This movie never had a chance.

When one of the teams challenged their lack of a screenplay credit, they also lost their story credit.

I sincerely apologize to the marketing team that chased me away from the steaming pile of celluloid.

Thank you.

Meanwhile two interesting happenings struck me this weekend.

One is a bit political, so it's here.

The other may ultimately be much more important in the scheme of broadcasting. Peter Liguori has been bumped up at FOX. His replacement is Kevin Reilly, formerly of NBC. More formerly of FX.

The two guys who built FX into an attention getting cable channel are now picking the shows at FOX.

NBC fired Reilly one week after the fall schedule was announced. They've really got their stuff together over there, huh?

Meanwhile, THE PRICE IS RIGHT is searching for a new host. There was a brief flirtation with the idea of Rosie O'Donnell getting the gig, but I must point out that Bob Barker was quoted as saying he didn't have a problem with a lady getting the job.

That automatically ruled out Rosie. She may be many things, but a lady, she's not.

Now there's buzz that ESPN's Dan Patrick may be getting the job. He announced his August resignation today on his radio show.

Before it goes any further, I have a suggestion. I know a fellow who's making his career as the host of a popular music show and L.A. DJ. He's modeling his career on that of his own idol, Dick Clark (who hosted THE $20,000 PYRAMID for decades), the little old ladies love him.

Ryan Seacrest.

Those big girls from Fiji would crush him.

What say you?

Don't forget to head over the Jelly Beanz for more on LIVE EARTH.

Evan Almighty Spolied For All

I don't get it.

I just don't get it.

Have you seen the latest spots for EVAN ALMIGHTY? The latest can be seen at the film's official site.

The early marketing for what may be a cute, clever followup to BRUCE ALMIGHTY featured STEVE CARRELL (voice of Hammy in OVER THE HEDGE and star of THE FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN) as a reluctant modern day Noah. In these spots, his character was obviously struggling with the validity of his mission, changes in his appearance, and the arrival of lots and lots of pairs of animals who were eager to help build his ark.

These spots highlighted Evan's reluctance to accept his mission, his wife's embarrassment at the situation and the animals. Cute, funny stuff punctuated with Evan's line: "Is it too much to ask for a LITTLE PRECIPITATION?"

We're left to wonder whether or not the rain will ever come, whether Evan's faith will be rewarded.

Well, worry no more.

New spots for the film have started to air that features shots of the ark white water rafting through city streets, sloshing in between skyscrapers while the generic cityscape is drowned in untold depths of water.

I no longer need to see this film. I know how it ends.

It floods.

I swear to all things promotional - I would wager my house that some airhead in a focus group expressed dimwitted concern about Evan's quandary. And I would wager YOUR house that some dimwitted suit at - wait for it - NBC/UNIVERSAL figured they'd better allay those fears by giving away the ending while highlighting those expensive special effects they paid for and were hiding from the public.

When I started writing this I had no idea what studio was distributing this film. And now that I do... I get it.

Why do SO many things that suck come from the desk of Mr. Zucker?

Would it be too much to ask for a LITTLE INTELLIGENCE????

Fire Zucker, save the studio.

NBC - Now 55% Fresh!

It's upfront week in TV-dom, the week the networks announce their fall lineups.

And why do the networks roll out a fall lineup? Because back in the day, they had to roll out exciting new shows to serve as spot carriers for the new models rolling off the Detroit assembly lines. That's why.

So, let's take a look at NBC - the proud as a peacock 4th place network. The network that once publicly excoriated FOX for relying on reality programming. The network that recently announced plans to abandon scripted programming at 8/7 Central.

Disclaimer: I'll be using info from the announced January lineups, since Sunday nights will feature NFL games until then.

NBC programs seven nights, if you count Saturday - that's 22 hours of programming.

MON - DEAL OR NO DEAL, HEROES and JOURNEYMAN - an unscripted game show (that is repurposed on CNBC), a hit (that is repurposed on SCI-FI) and what amounts to a remake of QUANTUM LEAP. A man travels back and forth in time, changes people's lives and reconnects with his true love - not his wife.

TUE - THE BIGGEST LOSER, CHUCK and LAW & ORDER: SVU - a reality competition (that is repurposed on USA), a new show from the creators of THE O.C. about a geek who accidentally downloads a bunch og government secrets into his brain - Adam Baldwin (FIREFLY, THE X-FILES) co-stars so I might tune in, and L&O.

WED - DEAL OR NO DEAL, THE BIONIC WOMAN and LIFE - a second episode of an unscripted game show (that also airs on CNBC), a reimagining of a '70s sci-fi classic (that will also be repurposed on SCI-FI) and a crime drama featuring a detective who has just served some time for a crime he didn't commit (which will be repurposed on LIFETIME). yes, an entire night of programming you can watch on a different night on different channels - who needs a TiVo?

THUR - MY NAME IS EARL, 30 ROCK, THE OFFICE, SCRUBS and ER - the only comedies on NBC's schedule, and the final season of a once mighty giant on a once mighty night.

FRI - THE SINGING BEE, LAS VEGAS and FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS - a reality competition that requires contestants to sing lyrics perfectly or be eliminated (apparently the notes don't count), a marginally successful drama and a show about high school football on a night when anyone can go to their local high school and see high school football.

SAT - DATELINE NBC and VARIOUS REPEATS - a newsmagazine mired in the pursuit of online sexual predators to the degree that one wonders when they're going to hire Maury Povich to host (that is repourposed on MSNBC), and two hours of things that are already being repurposed on other channels on other nights. Why bother?

SUN - DATELINE NBC, LAW & ORDER, MEDIUM and LIPSTICK JUNGLE - see above, L&O, a show that might actually do well in this slot and Brooke Shields in an effort to recapture the SEX IN THE CITY lightning in a bottle.

Overall, 6 hours of non-scripted programming - 27%
2 hours of scheduled repeats 9%
10 hours of repurposed programming - 45%

Yep, almost HALF of the NBC schedule can be seen at other times - any wonder why their mired in 4th place?

I'm a HEROES fan. I'll check out THE BIONIC WOMAN, CHUCK and LIFE. But if I didn't have a TiVO - and more than 80% of Americans don't - I wouldn't give up 24, HOUSE or LOST for any of these new shows.

Tomorrow, more....

Are the TV Gods Smiling?

First Sanjaya gets voted off AMERICAN IDOL. (Yay!)

Then Rosie O'Donnell decides $10 million over three years wasn't enough to stay on THE VIEW.

And Alec Baldwin has asked NBC to be allowed to quit 30 ROCK.

Now... if we could just do something about NBC CEO Jeff Zucker...

Bells Silenced, Heaven Closed

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised....

After a complete lack of faith in linear storytelling (see previous post) FOX has cancelled THE WEDDING BELLS.

With just 6 of the 13 episode order in the can, FOX has shut the show down.

Also today, ABC canned SIX DEGREES (one week after returning from hiatus), THE CW announced the end of 7TH HEAVEN and NBC is dropping THE BLACK DONNELLYS in favor of another piece of crap reality show.

FOX Takes the Lead

Last year FOX passed ABC for the full season victory in Adults 18-49 with about three days left in the season.

That's akin to a NASCAR driver taking the lead for the first time with 2 laps left in the Daytona 500.

It's like Joe Montana driving the 49ers down the field with 30 seconds left in the game to score the game winning touchdown.

The point is, it was a last second lead change and it was a bit dramatic. The entirety of the broadcast industry could see it coming, the momentum was palatable.

This year, things are very different. After an early strong start, ABC has stumbled badly since the turn of the calendar year. CBS scored well with the Super Bowl, but couldn't even turn that powerhouse event into a February sweeps win. NBC hasn't been a contender all year long.

Last night FOX tied CBS for the lead in Adults 18-49. Tonight, on the strength of a two hour episode of AMERICAN IDOL, FOX will pass CBS for first place.

This lead change was every bit as predictable as last year, the momentum has been just as palatable. The difference is this year, it's happening at the end of the 3rd quarter. There are still eleven weeks left in the season and none of FOX's competitors have an answer for FOX's passing game.

By the two minute warning, not only are we going to be looking at a blowout - but it will be painfully clear that the competition has no answer for how to stop FOX next year.

This is the third straight year FOX will have won or tied for first place in Adults 18-49.

In sports terms - that's a dynasty, baby!