Random Thoughts: 041207

Some random TV thoughts....

It took 17 hours for Jack Bauer to shake off whatever it was the Chinese did to him. I was feeling a bit disappointed with this season of 24 - until Jack killed this season's bad guy with his bare hands. 24 has 'unjumped' the shark and The Jack Bauer Power Hour is back

Starting to get pumped up about DRIVE. Captain Tightpants (Nathan Fillion from FIREFLY) and ANGEL's Fred (Amy Acker) headline a pretty good looking cast in another Tim Minear project - that FOX will probably toss on the ash heap before its time. I hope not.

'TIL DEATH has had its season finale. It's still not a great show, but it's getting better. My guess is that it will be back next year.

Last Friday the History Channel aired PLANET OF THE APES. Huh? It worked. I watched the whole thing - plus the special about Giganticus/Sasquatch that followed.

There a marathon of Eddie Izzard's THE RICHES on FX this weekend. Check it out.

I'm going to wait one more episode to comment on THE SOPRANOS.

Next week - Sanjaya WILL be in the bottom three. But he won't go home until we're down to the Top 5.

I've started pulling for Blake.

It's been a long haul over the past month - no new episodes of GILMORE GIRLS, SMALLVILLE or HEROES. If it weren't for the new subscription to HBO - and all the movies I don't have time to watch - my TiVo would be very bored.

What's going on on your set? What are you watching? What are you NOT watching?

Easter Bonus: Sopranos Resurrected

Back in June, I posted a piece on the mid-season finale of THE SOPRANOS.

With the second half of the season about to premiere, I thought it might be fun to revisit it.

Sopranos Finale: Peace on Earth

NYT Doesn't Get It

Over at Jelly Beenz, a New York Times reporter links AMERICAN IDOL and the 2000 election.

Sponge Bob No Pants

Burger King has done it again. they have managed to totally creep me out with another commercial that makes me wonder "What were they thinking?"

File this under the category Spots That Make You Go Hmmmmm.

This spot begins with a kid running up to Mom announcing that Spongebob is now appearing at Burger King! Can we go? Of course, as soon as your dad is finished.

As soon as Dad is finished with what? Why taking a bath. In an overly large master bathroom. While Mom is tidying. With the door open.

This family apparently shares a lot, because Dad isn't afraid to stand up in the tub to joke to his wife that he's Spongebob No Pants - all while the bathroom door is standing wide open.

At least the King isn't peeping in the large bathroom window.

Boundaries, people - PLEASE.

Bells Silenced, Heaven Closed

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised....

After a complete lack of faith in linear storytelling (see previous post) FOX has cancelled THE WEDDING BELLS.

With just 6 of the 13 episode order in the can, FOX has shut the show down.

Also today, ABC canned SIX DEGREES (one week after returning from hiatus), THE CW announced the end of 7TH HEAVEN and NBC is dropping THE BLACK DONNELLYS in favor of another piece of crap reality show.

The Wedding Bells Toll

FOX has done it again.

While Rupert's network may be #1 in prime time, it has a long history of screwy scheduling that it just can't seem to shake.

For some ungodly reason no one has ever attempted to explain, FOX continually schedules episodes of serial shows out of order. They did it regularly to SLIDERS back in the day. They did it to JOHN DOE. They did it to FIREFLY. Recently, they've done it to THE WAR AT HOME.

ATTENTION NETWORK SUITS! You can't expect folks to follow a continuing storyline if you don't show the story IN ORDER!

The freshest example is THE WEDDING BELLS. This silly, yet fun distraction from the mind of David E. Kelly has started off wackier than ALLY MCBEAL finished, but, still there was a lot of potential. Not IMPORTANT TELEVISION by a long shot, but goofy enough for Mrs. Kimosabe and I to commit to a TiVo season pass.

The second episode was just as wacky, although it felt a bit disjointed - and now we understand why. It wasn't the second episode. It was THE THIRD. The second episode aired this past week (the third episode to be aired).

We finally got around to watching it tonight, and immediately realized we've been disrespected. Some high paid idiot in L.A. thinks we wouldn't notice that 50% of the character development we've observed was literally undone at the start of this episode.

This wasn't a matter of shooting episodes out of order for production needs - I completely understand that's something that happens from time to time. This is a case of a network airing episodes 101, 103, 102 and 104 - in that order.

It's a bit jarring when characters who carried on intimate conversations last week meet for the very first time the following week.

In the past, back when I had access to the FOX hotline, the explanation was always that the episode that aired was creatively stronger than the delayed episode.

Well, my answer to that is today's audience is smarter than the suits think.

I don't care if THE WEDDING BELLS is a good show or not. I don't care if it has a legitimate shot at being renewed. I don't care if FOX is burning off episodes on the cemetery row they call Friday night.

Ding, dong, my season pass is gone.

FOX Takes the Lead

Last year FOX passed ABC for the full season victory in Adults 18-49 with about three days left in the season.

That's akin to a NASCAR driver taking the lead for the first time with 2 laps left in the Daytona 500.

It's like Joe Montana driving the 49ers down the field with 30 seconds left in the game to score the game winning touchdown.

The point is, it was a last second lead change and it was a bit dramatic. The entirety of the broadcast industry could see it coming, the momentum was palatable.

This year, things are very different. After an early strong start, ABC has stumbled badly since the turn of the calendar year. CBS scored well with the Super Bowl, but couldn't even turn that powerhouse event into a February sweeps win. NBC hasn't been a contender all year long.

Last night FOX tied CBS for the lead in Adults 18-49. Tonight, on the strength of a two hour episode of AMERICAN IDOL, FOX will pass CBS for first place.

This lead change was every bit as predictable as last year, the momentum has been just as palatable. The difference is this year, it's happening at the end of the 3rd quarter. There are still eleven weeks left in the season and none of FOX's competitors have an answer for FOX's passing game.

By the two minute warning, not only are we going to be looking at a blowout - but it will be painfully clear that the competition has no answer for how to stop FOX next year.

This is the third straight year FOX will have won or tied for first place in Adults 18-49.

In sports terms - that's a dynasty, baby!

Move On Moves Out

MoveOn.org has convinced the Nevada Democratic Party - and its candidates - to withdraw from participating in a live televised debate on Fox News.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal.

The Winner - WHAAMY

THE WINNER debuts tonight on FOX.

OK, to be fair, I haven't seen it. But my BS-ometer is pretty reliable - and it says to stay away from this stinker.

This show screams of what I refer to as a WHAAMY Project (We'll Happily Air Anything Made by You).

These projects are usually very bad ideas, generated by folks fortunate enough to have had lightning strike once before in their life.

FOX gave Mike Scully a WHAAMY deal. Scully is a long time writer/producer of THE SIMPSONS. One would think Anything Made by Him would probably be worth airing. Maybe not. The result was THE PITTS.

Literally.

THE WINNER is from FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD's Seth McFarland and stars THE DAILY SHOW'S Rob Corddry.

Six whole episodes have been produced. Four of them are available online - yep two-thirds of the entire series is already available on the internet - free of charge (FOX TV stations have got to be charged up about THAT).

FOX has displayed their deep confidence in the project by launching it immediately after the February sweeps - when it will do less damage to the ratings of your local FOX TV station (trust me - they ARE charged up about that one).

Further confidence is displayed by the net in the show's schedule. They'll be burning this bad boy of two episodes at a time, reducing the footprint of this embarrassment to a mere three weeks.

I have a suggestion for FOX. They're all about the innovation. Here's their chance to push the envelope again. How about airing THE WINNER split screen? They could put the audio for one episode on the left channel and the audio for the other in the right channel and burn the entire run off in 90 minutes.

My guess is there's a clause in McFarland's contract that requires a financial penalty to be paid by FOX if less than six episodes air. So, the net trots out and does its due diligence, a crappy show gets on the air.

And we all get the WHAAMY.

FOX: The Head of the Class

By my calculations, FOX is about to something that's never been done - again.

Since the Super Bowl has been played during the February sweeps, the network carrying it has always cruised to an easy sweeps win (A18-49). Not this time.

The launch of ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER (which is by no means 'important television') has been so strong - the strongest series launch for FOX since 1994 - that the net has managed to catch up with CBS.

Sometime about 9PM Central, I think FOX passed them by - not by much, and not until the final day of the sweep, but the math says Rupert wins again.

SMARTER is a whole lot of fluff wrapped around about 5 minutes of entertainment, but unlike DEAL OR NO DEAL, it only runs for 30 minutes. Jeff Foxworthy makes a decent game show host. He knows his show and seems to be having a good time.

The kids are overly precocious child actors and the contestants must have to come in under 80 on an IQ test, but this thing is way more watchable than another round of THE SIMPLE LIFE.

The show's ratings will likely come down to Earth when FOX moves it to Thursdays at 8/7c in April. It will also expand to an hour, making it twice the fluff wrapped around twice the entertainment (10 minutes and hour!)

IDOL - Girls Club

First impression - not a true blonde in the bunch. Twelve interchangeable brunettes. Nothing striking, or remarkable in terms of appearance.

Second impression - the winner of AMERICAN IDOL is not going to be a guy.

The winner of AMERICAN IDOL is SABRINA SLOAN. If she brings it like that every week, no one else stands a chance. Even Xtina is probably worried about this girl...

LESLIE HUNT - better than I expected. A huskier voice than I thought would come out of that tiny person.

ANTONELLA BARBA - Apparently there are spicy pics of her full on party mode circulating around the Internet. After tonight, I don't think anyone at IDOL is going to care.

HALEY SCARNATO - Learn to breath, honey. One of my biggest peeves is a singer who can't finish a lyric phrase without taking a breath. It's a skill that can be learned. Take a class.

ALAINA ALEXANDER - makes me yearn for the days of that horrid teenage singer from Hawaii. I'll have to ask Gretel what her name was..... Gretel?

GINA GLOCKSEN - Powerful, but cracky. Still Sabrina's to lose.

LAKISHA JONES - Damn! Why didn't any of the guys show this kind of confidence? Great performance - where does she go from here? (I think Sabrina's got more versatility and marketability.)

Note to Brendon Rogers - body language while in the dog pound is important. My TiVo caught Brendon crossing his arms in defiance while Simon was praising Sabrina (and dissing the boys at the same time). Gotta pretend to be a happy camper, buddy - or you'll go home sooner than you expect.

We'll see tomorrow - and remember to stick around for the very last O.C. ever.

Letters from Pan's Labyrinth

Over the last few years, I have developed the tradition of spending President's Day in the cinema.

I try to squeeze in as many Oscar contenders as possible during the week before the Oscars. It can make for quite a long day of 'important' films, but I'm better for it. I think.

Two years ago I managed to see SIDEWAYS, MILLION DOLLAR BABY and THE AVIATOR in one long, butt-numbing day. By seeing all three of these films back to back to back, I discovered they all shared one plot element in common - someone broke a nose in each film. Had I seen these films months apart, I might never have made the connection to what makes a film 'important.'

This year the local pickings were a bit slimmer. I was only able to see PAN' LABYRINTH (Best Foreign Film Nominee) and LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA (Best Picture Nominee).

Apparently, this year's measure of importance comes in subtitles.

Yep, I read two movies Monday. One in Spanish, one in Japanese. OK - that's facetious, I really have no complaints about subtitles. loved CROUCHING TIGER, love Hiro's scenes on HEROES, as well as Sun and Jin's scenes on LOST - and LOVE anything by Kurosawa.

As for this year's films, the real link was the amount of gruesome violence depicted. While I knew what I was getting in IWO JIMA, the level of sheer meanness displayed in LABYRINTH was hard to digest - and that's what makes the film brilliant.

LABYRINTH is almost a kid's flick. A little girl who lives in a harsh world finds a magical world to which she can escape. It is the harshness of her world that was surprising. Not going to give anything away, but it's very easy to understand why this Dorothy would want to escape to Oz.

As for IWO JIMA, war is hell. And the Japanese soldiers who are forced into sacrificing their lives for their 'beloved' Emperor go through enough levels of Hell to write their own epic poem. Clint Eastwood does a masterful job of directing this film. The muted colors (except for the brilliant scarlet reds) echo the dispair of the young men sentenced to die for a cause they don't really believe in.

The echoes of FLAG OF OUR FATHERS are brilliant.

All in all, my day was well spent. I saw two brilliantly photographed films. Both told a story of young people who are no longer in control of their future or their destiny, surrounded by untold violence.

Good stuff.

IDOL - Boys Club

So, I've finally had time to watch last night AMERICAN IDOL. The top 12 guys went at it, Seacrest and Cowell pretended to fight and several guys gave strong evidence that they should not survive to the IDOL Top 12.

SUNDANCE HEAD - Dude is just NOT living up to his original audition. America's not going to cut you much slack. Better get it in gear 'cause Simon can't save you from here on out.

BLAKE LEWIS - The beat box guy can really sing! I thought he was by far the best singer of the night. He could win this whole thing.

SANJAYA MALAKAR - OK, so how long will he get by on his hair? The girls are gonna eat him up, his looks may get him past this week, but if he doesn't start singing, he's toast.

CHRIS SLIGH - Really like this guy, too. I loved the fact that he and Blake both sang non-traditional IDOL songs. They were too hip for the room, but I think they scored well with the voters.

EVERYONE ELSE - Feh. Not worth writing about.

Let's see what the girls bring tonight.....

Fox News Gets an F

OK, I'm a conservative. I admit it. I'm not ashamed of it.

I listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

I get most of my news online, though I do enjoy SPECIAL REPORT WITH BRIT HUME on Fox News. I check in on Brit's 'Grapevine' segment and the roundtable discussion every day that my schedule allows.

I believe for the most part, Fox News follows it's motto of "We report, you decide." fairly faithfully. Their dominance in the 24 hours news market is certainly something the Suits at other cable news channels salivate over.

Last week, FNC made a rather serious blunder with the premiere of THE 1/2 HOUR NEWS HOUR, a conservative DAILY SHOW knockoff.

I haven't seen the show - but I did peek at a couple of minutes of it online.

It ain't funny. And while that's a problem all its own, my beef is simply this: it's on the wrong channel.

Irreverent commentary by the host of a discussion program is one thing. But a 30 minute comedy show that skewers one side of the aisle 100% of the time has no business on a 'fair and balanced' news network.

If Rupert Murdock feels a need to air a program like this, he needs to clear a time slot on FX and let FNC do more reporting so I can do more deciding.

At least that's the way I see it.....

CBS Gets a 'C'

In retrospect, CBS's coverage of Super Bowl XLI was cold and impersonal, which somehow seems to be what I expected.

As the game wound down, the end no longer in doubt, CBS chose to ignore the multitude of personal stories taking place on the sidelines. There were no shots of Colts teammates congratulating each other, no shots of Bears players realizing their shot at the championship was slipping through their hands.

Instead, the announcers droned on about what was happening on the field - which to a football fan was pretty much irrelevant from about the 4 minute mark of the 4th quarter.

It's just another example of how square and clunky CBS is in the 21st century broadcasting world.

Apart from the Colts, the only other 2nd half winner I saw was the NFL. Their fan-written spot about how hard it is to say goodbye got a decent boost from some professional folks who spiffed up the original concept a bit - and throwing in a shot of Brett Favre was very nice.

Congrats to the Colts!

Now, I'm off to prep my resume for the GoDaddy Marketing team!

Super Bowl XLI: 1st Half

Through halftime:

Winners:

Prince! He was literally singing in Purple Rain. He's a queer bird and has a rep for being a demanding performer. But he stuck it out, gave a helluva a show in horrible conditions - and he was NOT lip synching. Most excellent!

Manning. Weather related slop aside, he took command of the game mid-way through the first quarter.

Chevy. Their spot featuring Chevy in classic American pop songs was smart.

Sprint. Connective dysfunction. Very clever.

Losers:

Grossman. Two fumbles snaps. Apart from one long run the Chicago offense has been non-existent.

Budweiser. Their series of spots have been uninspired and sophomoric. Nothing really clever there at all.

Careerbuilder.com. I miss the monkeys.

CBS. I'm watching in glorious Hi-Def, but the action is too far away from the camera for me to see any of the details hi-def should be bringing me.

Time for the second half....

This Commercial Brought to You by CBS

Wow. CBS is really whoring up it's Super Bowl pre-game show. I don't think I've ever seen such blatant product placement in a sports show. The first hour was presented by the new Eddie Murphy NORBIT - which means footage from the film was intercut with clips of the Colts and the Bears in the open.

Stuff like that has been happening for quite a while, but I still hate it.

Hour two was presented by Pizza Hut, which resulted in James Brown, Dan Marino and company actually eating a Cheesy Bites pizza from their desks.

I know commercial sponsorships are an important part of the broadcast, but this year, I think maybe CBS has gone too far.

As for the game - well, the last time the Bears played in the Super Bowl, Walter Peyton got a ring - his only one. This year, the Bears are back, but it's Peyton MANNING who's getting the gold.

My guess - Colts 27, Bears 10.

Ghost Rider vs. Evil Tax Man

Tonight during BONES, audiences were treated to a typical GHOST RIDER commercial. Immediately following it was something special.

It seems that after ridding the world of evil, Ghost Rider uses Jackson Hewitt to file his taxes. The agent was challenged by Mr. Rider's flaming W-2 form, but ultimately managed to slip Mr. Rider's quick refund loan into one of Mr. Rider's many pockets. You see, he couldn't just hand it to him, as it would burst into flames.

A pretty neat set of combo ads.

But then Mrs. Kimosabe pointed out a line from the movie spot that goes something like "After dark, whenever he's in the presence of evil, he will become the Ghost Rider."

So.....the flaming paperwork would seem to indicate that Jackson Hewitt is evil.

Seems a bit like Carnival Cruise Lines teaming up with Titanic, if you ask me.

Score one for the better half!

IDOL - Up, Up and Away!

It seems we still don't know high "up" is.

The two night premiere of AMERICAN IDOL has redefined 'up' once again, delivering about 15% more eyeballs to sponsor messages than last year.

The numbers are simply gi-normous. 37 million folks. To give you some sort of scale, until this week DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES was the number one show on TV - delivering a mere 20 million viewers a week. IDOL isn't just #1, it's crossing the finish line while the other horses are entering the final turn.

The beastie out drew all the other networks combined.

Pity the poor CW. The FOX audience was 34 times larger than the CW.

One hour of IDOL = 34 hours of VERONICA MARS. That's more episodes than the show makes in a season. Granted, VERONICA was a re-run, but play along.

Following the above formula, if you were an advertiser who purchased a spot in every hour of IDOL for this season, you would have to buy VERONICA MARS once a week for 26 years to cume the same value.

26 years.

G4 Gets an F

Back in the day (1998-2004) there was a fine little cable channel called TECH TV.

It was a brilliant bit of narrowcasting, aimed at every level of computer users, novice to hacker. I didn't watch every day, but every time I checked in to see what Leo Laporte was up to on THE SCREEN SAVERS, I learned something.

It was basic cable at its most basic, and at its best.

Sometime in early 2004, G4 bought Tech TV, fired everybody and forced a merger of the two channels. Now G4 is all that remains of the little channel that could.

Tonight, while surfing, I bumped into G4's coverage of the Adult Entertainment Expo from Las Vegas. In the same week that Steve Jobs announced the launch the iPhone (trademark infringement lawsuit pending) at a much more important expo across town, G4 went booth to booth at AEE. The very same channel I used to watch Leo tell the world about cutting edge technology was covering porn.

Isn't ANYONE in charge THINKING? The suits at this channel actually thought this was PALATABLE? They felt THIS would serve their shareholders' best interests? I can't explain to you how uncomfortable it was to see the guy and gal hosts of the 'program' chatting about the 'coolness' of micro vibrators as if they were discussing the merits of the latest Playstation release.

Coverage included 'comedy' pieces about a school for adult actors and the history of porn - along with a count down of the top 10 adult DVDs of the year (including plentiful blurry clips).

Mind you, this wasn't on a premium cable channel. This wasn't REAL SEX on HBO. This was basic cable, covering a porn expo like they were covering a video game convention.

I understand that the young male audience G4 is targeting likes and consumes porn. But they also probably smoke their share of pot, too. Should the channel review the various paraphernalia used to smoke weed?

It's just bad form. Leo would be ashamed.

What's next, a lingerie fashion show on CBS?

Oh. Never mind.